Those worst fears included having to watch, up close and personally, footage of Johnny, the studly young poet, having his nipples thoroughly investigated by the tongue of Billy's girlfriend, Mandy.

Johnny, nothing if not a gentleman, returned the favor (on camera as well, of course) by courteously ridding Mandy's bellybutton of all traces of the tequila Johnny had spilled there.

So this week, Billy kinda wants "things to be even."

The show picks up where it left off, with Billy, in payback mode, entering the forbidden cabin of the forbidding Vanessa. But -- this is weird -- when they cut to the interior, the other three guys (vacuous Kaya, nasty Andy and screwed-up Taheed) are there drinking with a bunch of girls! Weren't they just at the bar saying something about cowboys and rodeos?

How did they get there so fast?

Vanessa is either a big fan of Madonna's newest video or an avid George W. Bush supporter. Inside the cabin, she is decked out in all her cow-ho glory. She has temporarily lost the hat; for this casual evening in with friends, she has selected a nothin'-but-fringe red bikini top and hot pants.

Soon, Billy is gyrating in front of her and whipping off his clothes.

Sure, he looks like an idiot, but it also made us reflect that no one has really figured out this male stripping thing yet. We're not saying it can't work -- it's a strong idea in theory -- but the "writhing python" school of titillation doesn't really capture the essence of male sexuality.

Maybe it's the too-fast music that's always played, which always seems to lead to the even more upsetting "Look at me, I'm a piston" technique. Girls just aren't as interested in engines and stuff as guys are. Watching Billy now is a little like eating a burger at the Hard Rock Cafe. You wind up with cramps from unconsciously eating to the beat.

Still, there has to be a way.

We'll think about it later.

In any case, Vanessa is flattered by the attention. She is "google-doll-eyed" over Billy.

(Isn't it fun to mock people who don't speak the language?)

But Billy, as always, is grappling with his conscience. That's just the way Billy is. Even when he's grappling with his fly, he's grappling with his conscience. Poor Billy.

"Your hormones are telling you to take her back and try to hook up with her," he says. "And your brain is saying stop, stop, stop."

It's just like a Supremes song, this battle between Billy's brain and his -- bottom. Billy's brain always wins, he says, but "it just takes time to get over it."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A new day dawns.

Time for our emotionally buffeted couples to exchange some videos.

Cut to Mandy's cabana. She wakes up "bothered" after having seen Billy's naughty dance. Oh, but out she dashes! Giggling and running and squealing to get Billy's message.

He confesses that he couldn't watch the video of her and Johnny mistaking each other for a Popsicle and a shot glass, but that he loves her very much and trusts her judgment.

"I knew Billy wouldn't understand!" Mandy sniffs.

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