The price of fame

How you can ring in the millennium with Andrew Morton, and just watch what Rudy Giuliani does to Michael Moore's little Times Square porn emporium.

Published April 12, 1999 1:08PM (EDT)

Looking for a special way to ring in the new millennium? How about sharing a Titanic toast with tell-all biographer Andrew Morton? If you act fast and care to shell out -- gulp! -- $30,195 (hey, it includes airfare!), the opportunity can be yours. The man who brought you "Monica's Story" and Princess Di's daft drivel will join a batch of "famed entertainers and noted historians" aboard Silversea Cruises' millennium cruise. The Silver Cloud will embark on December 22 and welcome 2000 in the South Pacific. We have to admit, it does sound a bit more exciting than, say, the Nation's recent oceanic outing.

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And you thought gray was the new black

"I have a strong feeling about color. I think mint green is going to be the new pink, which was this season's black."

-- Lingerie-inspired sportswear designer (and Jerry Seinfeld's shapely ex-squeeze) Shoshanna Lonstein on fashion, in the New York Daily News.

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All she wanted was a smoke

Let the rest of the media fret over the wily beaver caught chewing on something naughty and woody in our nation's capital. (No, not that wily beaver. We haven't heard much from La Lewinsky since French audiences turned their famously blasi noses up at her during the Paris leg of her book-signing tour a few weeks ago. We're talking about the bark-chewing semiaquatic rodents who are decimating D.C.'s precious cherry-tree population.) Our sympathies are with another wild animal caught at the scene of a crime, this one with no animal rights activists to come to its aid.

We're talking, of course, about the rabid fox that attacked Lucy Dover when she stepped out of her mobile home last week to smoke a cigarette. The fox knocked down Dover and bit and clawed her, but ultimately proved no match for the nicotine-craving 79-year-old Brooksville, Fla., resident. Dover grabbed up the animal and held onto it for 12 hours until her landlord dropped by and beat it to death with a stick. Geez, what some people will do for a cigarette ...

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Pierce Brosnan: Licensed to trill?

It may be something for Q to resolve. On Thursday, Dame Judi Dench will open on Broadway in David Hare's intriguingly named West End import "Amy's View." But if her Bond co-star Pierce Brosnan comes to see her strut her stuff in New York, as he did in London during her run in Peter Hall's recent production of Eduardo de Filippo's "Filumena," here's a little reminder: Pierce, darling, turn off the cell phone. Seems that when Pierce saw "Filumena," he neglected to do so, and when his pocket started to ring, fellow audience members were less than impressed. They should be happy he didn't have his bullet-shooting pen with him.

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Can't we all just get along?

"I always have my own personal opinions like Nostradamus had his. But I always keep them to myself, because I don't want anyone misquoting me. But I definitely believe in peace and in harmony ... And I think we all need to stop the fighting and start loving."

-- Fugees front man Wyclef Jean on the war in Kosovo, at a tribute to slain rapper Biggie Smalls (aka the Notorious B.I.G.), quoted on the music Web site SonicNet.

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Moore torture for Giuliani

He might have called it "Rudy & Me." Michael Moore, the shamelessly self-promoting big-business gadfly who tormented General Motors chairman Roger Smith in the 1989 documentary "Roger & Me," agitated white supremacists and countless others in the now-cancelled TV show "TV Nation" and brought himself literary buzz with his 1996 book "Downsize This!", has a new cable show and favorite target.

"The Awful Truth," which premiered Sunday on Bravo, takes almost as many shots at NYC nasty-man-in-chief Rudy Giuliani as the mayor's police force took at Amadou Diallo. For one episode, Moore, who clearly hasn't heeded Rudy's plea for politeness, opened the Mayor Giuliani Gift Shop and Sex Emporium in Times Square (among the offerings: a peep show featuring Giuliani's State of the City address combined with porn footage). The shop was quickly shuttered by Giuliani's bruisers in blue.

"I am afraid that without Mayor Giuliani there would be no 'Awful Truth,' because Giuliani is the epitome of the awful truth," Moore recently told the New York Daily News. "And if he ever grows a sense of humor, we are done." No worries there.

Maybe Moore can find a job for fellow Rudy-hater and recent "People's Court" reject Ed Koch.

By Amy Reiter

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