Newspaper editors get stoned on Stone

Actress gives spacey speech; Monica's dad on Linda Tripp and President Clinton.


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Amy Reiter
April 20, 1999 8:00PM (UTC)

Sharon Stone's got a thing for newspaper editors; after all, she's
married to one. But a fair number of them might not have a thing for her
after she meandered, giggled, scolded and jump-cut her way through a
speech at an American Society of Newspaper Editors luncheon last
weekend.

"If you're wondering why the hell I'm the speaker today," the
panty-eschewing actress told the group of 300 hapless journalists, "I
look at it like this -- I have become the offspring of your illicit
imaginations."

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Her qualifications for MENSA membership (yup, the illicitly imagined
offspring boasts of possessing an IQ of 154) were apparently not on display
as she leapt from a plea for greater reporting accuracy to a joke about
the besmirched duds of a woman as infamous for flaunting her underwear
as Stone is for going without. "A little bit of accretion and a blue
dress," she riffed. "I don't think we have to go there anymore."

Digesting the red snapper, the chocolate mousse and the "Basic
Instinct" bad girl's bizarre 16-minute speech on such disparate topics
as Tennessee Williams, "stupid" Hollywood flicks, war, schizophrenia and
how she intends to "keep my legs crossed," one editor remarked, "She's
making Jerry Brown seem lucid." Sharon Stone for president? Don't
think we have to go there either.

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Monica's dad on Linda Tripp

"Last night I had a dream that I spit in her face, and that is what I
would like to do, I would spit in her face."

-- Dr. Bernard Lewinsky on Univision's newsmagazine program "Aqui y ahora"

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Monica's dad on President Clinton

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"I hate him. I hate him as a man. As a man, I have no respect for him.
As the president of the United States, naturally, I respect him and I
think he is a good president. But there are two sides to this person. He
knows how to handle political issues, but his character as a man is
horrible and hateful."

-- Dr. Bernard Lewinsky on Univision's newsmagazine program "Aqui y ahora"

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Departing tele-matriarchs

Wil-maaaaaaaaaaaa!

Wilma and Pebbles Flintstone's Yabba-Dabba-Do time has now passed.
Actress Jean Vander Pyl, the voice of Wilma and little Pebbles on
the classic Hanna-Barbera cartoon "The Flintstones," died last week at
her home in California at age 79. Condolences to Fred, Barney, Betty,
Bam-Bam and Dino are not necessary, however, as she was the show's last
surviving original cast member.

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Pyl's son Michael O'Meara calls his mom "an anonymous
celebrity." No one would recognize her when she went out, he says, but
"all she'd have to do was go 'Fred!' and people would say: 'Wilma
Flintstone! I grew up with you!' She'd light up the room."

Here's wishing her a gay ol' time in the great Bedrock beyond ...

Grandma Walton

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Walton Mountain just got a little quieter. Emmy Award-winning actress
Ellen Corby, who played the tough-loving grandmother on the '70s
family confection "The Waltons," died last Wednesday in California at
age 87. In addition to her years primly presiding over the plucky Walton
clan, Corby had a long career in Hollywood playing fussy spinsters and
window-peeping busybodies in films ranging from "Shane" and "Vertigo" to
"It's a Wonderful Life" and "I Remember Mama."

G'night, Grandma.

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Vials of vile soapy water

Who would want a vial of used swimming-pool water? Well, if Heather
Locklear
, Andrew Shue or Alyssa Milano once dived into the
deep end, some people might treasure a few drops of the pool's
chlorinated contents. At least that's what the marketing geniuses at Fox
network are banking on.

When those manipulative, back-stabbing, sex-crazed characters in
Aaron Spelling's master-soap "Melrose Place" say their final
let's-do-lunches next month, the show's oddly obsessive fans can drown
their tears in some bona fide water from the set's courtyard pool.
According to TV Guide, the network will distribute hundreds of plastic
vials of the stuff to its affiliates, radio stations and press outlets
to hand out to devoted "Melrose" fans.

While some collectibles experts set the holy water's value per vial at
an impressive $100, others estimate a little more conservatively.
Minneapolis memorabilia-store owner Michael Kronick, for instance,
thinks the pool water will be worth $2 max -- but only if it's in "a
nice-looking vial." Perhaps one shaped like Aaron Spelling's wallet?

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Amy Reiter

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