The top 10 reasons Bill Gates stepped down as Microsoft CEO:
10. Figured it was Ballmer's turn to pretend not to understand the Justice Department's questions.
9. The cross-house commute from his bedroom to his home office had become too exhausting.
8. Steve Case doesn't have to be CEO anymore and gets to be the visionary -- why can't I?
7. Got sick of having to deal with random, stupid people all day.
6. Got addicted to day-trading Internet stocks.
5. Time to go back to Harvard and finish his B.A.
4. Realized the only way all the bugs in Windows would ever get fixed is if he did it himself.
3. Wanted to find complete T.rex skeleton before Nathan Myhrvold did.
2. Needed more time to learn Linux.
1. He's the richest man in the world and he can do whatever he damn well pleases.
[Why do you think Bill stepped down? Send your ideas to firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll publish some more].