21st Challenge No. 31 Results

"Pez Dispens'd" and other couplets in praise of tech gadgets.

Published March 11, 2000 5:00PM (EST)

At last, a chance to demonstrate how well-versed in technology you really are. In this challenge, we asked you to write a couplet in iambic pentameter extolling an element of our modern world. Though not all could master the meter, the following entries are worthy tries. Like all poetry, 'tis best if read aloud for others to hear. Or not.


Hard pressed for other means, we can but hope

To know the human heart by stethoscope.

-- Thomas Jenkins


My heart leaps up, my troubled ears are glad,

When I do thumb the key that mutes the ad.

-- John M. Ford

Soft, what ware chokes on cookies, spam and bots

To surf links 'cross reality ersatz.

-- Doug Muehlhauser

Couch potato, how did this come to pass?

My clicker thumb is fat as my ass.

-- Pedro F. Vazquez

These trees will stay standing thanks to Salon,

Since all printed magazines soon will be gone!

-- Anthony Dodd

Pez Dispens'd

What are thou, Pez, that must needs be dispensed?

T' be merely wrapped would leave thee so incensed?

T'were better still to leave the fingers sticky,

Than be vomited up by the likes of Mickey.

-- Mark Janello

The flat of chest augmented in a minute.

O Brave New World that has such implants in it!

-- Mark Janello

Mimetic warmth, (Platonic forms forfend!),

You burn, yet unconsumed, do never end!

Today, all Nature's blazes burn with shame --

To yield pride of place to Duraflame.

-- Thomas Jenkins

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Thanks for taking the 21st Challenge. Check back in two weeks for another contest.

By Charlie Varon

Charlie Varon is a humorist and playwright. His works include "Ralph Nader Is Missing" and "Rush Limbaugh in Night School."

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By Jim Rosenau

Jim Rosenau is a writer, editor and software designer in Berkeley, Calif. Jim and Charlie are also co-founders of the citizens group Californians for Earthquake Prevention and partners in Mockingbird Media, which offers a full line of comic services.

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