Post of the Week

Post of the Week

Published April 28, 2000 3:00PM (EDT)

MEET THE AUTHOR -- Thrilling or Disappointing?

Carrie Pruett - 08:24 pm PST - Apr 24, 2000 - #623 of 624

When I was a freshman at the University of Virginia, Tom Clancy gave a talk that was widely attended and managed to turn a significant portion of the student body off his works for life. I had read a few of his books and had gotten the impression that, while he was strongly pro-military, he wasn't especially right-wing socially. Oops! The talk was thoroughly political, including some strong anti-gay-rights statements, and he was generally arrogant Then when he went over the time limit (because he kept talking about himself endlessly), he said he had to leave and couldn't sign any books - which was a big reason that a lot of people had come.
The same year at school, Dave Barry was totally the opposite experience. His talk was very funny - though it sounded rehearsed, since I imagine he does this kind of thing a lot. When I was getting my book signed, I asked him to make it out in the name of my then-boyfriend, who couldn't come to the talk. A guy from my dorm who was standing by asked "Ooh, who's that?" I said my boyfriend, and the guy and Dave made little "Oooh-oooh" sounds together. It was very cute.
Only other author I've seen give a reading was Peter Matthiesen. I had never read his books, but was captivated by him at the reading. The book was "Killing Mr. Watson" - later when I tried to read it on my own, it just didn't have the same effect and I gave up. But he was cool to see in person; he has a great voice.

Which "Other Side" of the Closet Are You Talking About?

Mothers Who Think
David Ehrenstein - 08:57 am PST - Apr 26, 2000 - #1 of 457

Women are trained from childhood to get married. That's fine, save for the fact thatMen are Pigs. Take it from me -- I've slept with scads of them.
And that brings up another problem. There are men and there are gay men. Men want to have sex with you, but for the most part couldn't care less about you on any other level. Gay Men don't want to have sex with you, but think you're perfectly charming and are willing to spend countless hours listening to your gripes and telling you how fabulous you look in that new ensemble.
So what's a gal to do?
Deep down, she believes, all men are the same. And while her "Will" may say he doesn't want her a REAL woman always triumphs.("In her dreams," say I.)
As we all know there have been -- and continue to be -- any number of "New York Marriages." Consider Cole Porter. Hell -- consider Lee Radziwill. And don't getme started on Maxwell and Juliet. Or Tom and Nicole, for that matter.
The bottom line is Freud's famous question:"What does a woman want?"
And the answer comes. . . Rupert Everett
Face it ladies. You wanted to marry a gay man. You knew he was gay when you married him -- even though he didn't, or was fighting the truth. So don't come crying when he dumps you for his weight trainer.

The Worst Meal I Ever Had/My Biggest Cooking Disaster...Lately

House and Garden

Michelle F. - 03:15 am PST - Apr 26, 2000 - #186 of 198

Time to revive this thread. My brother and our cousin were making nachos in the kitchen one afternoon. The cousin excused himself to use the bathroom. He returned to the kitchen about a minute later, looked at my brother, and suddenly started screaming in agony. He turned and ran back to the bathroom, ripping off his clothes as he went. He jumped into the shower and turned icy cold water on himself to relieve his pain. My startled and confused brother returned to the kitchen to retrace our cousin's steps, and that's where he realized that, prior to using the loo, Cousin had been chopping jalapeno peppers using a knife and his bare hands. It was pure pepper juice that had gotten on his, er, lower regions.
Being the kind, sympathetic relatives that we are, we referred to the poor guy as "Jala-penis" for a very long time.

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