Saucy soccer moms
BY MATTHEW DEBORD (06/01/00)
Bravo to Matthew DeBord for voicing what many a real-world man has known since high school -- soccer moms have got it goin' on!
Donna Reed with a diaphragm. The kittenish June Cleaver with a whip. Those Lands' End swimsuit models as direct descendants of the lovely ladies from the underwear section of the Sears catalog -- where it all got started. What a celebration!
And let's not forget my favorite substrata of the soccer mom: those earnest, well-read, saffron-smelling, slightly graying gals who grace the aisles and outdoor cafe tables of natural food stores. The Indian-print sundresses. The sexy little sandals. The (organic) white cotton panties (or lack thereof).
-- Ronald Gordon
I have another, perhaps more savory term: the yummy mummy. Mmmm.
-- J. Gliddon
I am a former stay-at-home dad who's had many conversations with "soccer moms" at drop-in centers, parks, supermarkets, etc. Though I understand Matthew DeBord's sentiments, I'd guess that many of these moms have one thing on their minds when they go to bed at night: uninterrupted sleep.
The best way to get to a mom's heart (or libido) is to offer to babysit the children for a few hours. Meanwhile, the soccer mom can straighten the house up a bit and maybe start the laundry. After that, count on five minutes of pleasant talk over coffee and a quick peck on the cheek. By that time, Billy will be up from his nap, screaming that the toilet's plugged up and wondering who the funny-looking visitor is. Still, I'm sure it would perk up many a tired mom to know she can still turn a few heads.
-- Graham Webster