31 Ejaculations: No. 7

All of a sudden this guy with long hair, long as a girl's, is walking toward me, and I knew what was going to happen.

By Eric Bogosian

Published June 9, 2000 7:03PM (EDT)

I would hide these muscle magazines under my bed. My mother wanted to know why I had the muscle magazines and I'd say, "I want to be muscular." Which kind of made sense because I was very skinny.

And one day I was walking around in Greenwich Village, in the late '60s. Actually, I was hanging around because I wanted to find a hippie. I thought hippies were cool and Greenwich Village was where they hung out.

So I'm just walking around these little streets. I had no idea where I was. I had gone to Washington Square Park, no hippies there, so I find myself walking down this street, turns out to be Christopher Street. All of a sudden, this guy with long hair, long as a girl's, is walking toward me.

And he's looking me right in the eyes. My nipples felt like someone was pinching them. He said hello to me, I said hello to him. Then I think he said something like, "Nice day for something." Which I didn't quite understand at the time. But I said "Yeah, it is." So then he asked me if I was thirsty. And I thought, that's a weird question, why is this guy who I don't even know asking me if I'm thirsty? But in a way, I didn't care because he was so cute! He looked just like the guy on "Mod Squad" except he had straight hair. Long straight hair and a headband. A genuine 100 percent hippie. Yeah, he was into free love all right.

My heart was racing because I knew what was going to happen. I knew and I didn't know, at the same time. I was into denial basically. So we go into this bar ... I'm 17, but I could pass for 18. So I order a beer. And before the beer even comes, he's like, "Come here." And I follow him, we go into this back room and there's a men's room back there. I remember thinking how clean everything was. So I'm like, "What?" and he's "Shhh" and then he kisses me. And like, I'd been on two dates in high school and no girl ever kissed me like that.

Tongue in my mouth, wow! Then he starts unbuttoning my shirt ... down to my pants, undoes my belt buckle, opens my fly and as they say, SCHWING! I'm ready. I'd been ready for years.

He got on his knees and put my thing in his mouth and it was like on "Star Trek," when they go, "Beam me up, Scotty!" I was BEAMED! And, uh, I guess that was when I realized the truth.

The weird thing is I think my whole family already knew. Like my dad, ever since I was 6 years old every time he saw me he would ask me: "You have a girlfriend yet?" Back when I was 6 I would just say, "Oh, Dad!" and leave it at that. But ever since I started shaving he had been getting kind of insistent and angry about it. And then he stopped asking.

So anyway, this hippie, whose name I didn't even know, sucked me off, I blew my load and like they say, it was the "dawning of the Age of Aquarius."

Read on to No. 8

Eric Bogosian

Eric Bogosian's new book is "Operation Nemesis: The Assassination Plot that Avenged the Armenian Genocide" (Little Brown). He is best known as a playwright, novelist and actor. He wrote and starred in the play, "Talk Radio" (NYSF - 1987; on Broadway starring Liev Schreiber- 2007), for which he was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize and the Tony award. For his film adaptation of the play, Bogosian received the Berlin Film Festival "Silver Bear." His six solo performances Off-Broadway between 1980 and 2000, (including "Drinking in America", "Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll" and "Wake Up and Smell the Coffee") received three Obie awards. In addition to "Talk Radio", Bogosian has written a number of full-length plays including "subUrbia" (LCT, Second Stage, also adapted to film), "Griller" (Goodman), "Red Angel" (Williamstown Theater Festival), "Humpty Dumpty" (The McCarter), 1+1 (New York Stage and Film). He is also the author of three novels, "Mall", "Wasted Beauty" and "Perforated Heart" and a novella, "Notes from Underground." He is a Guggenheim fellow.

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