The quiet serenity of a remote farm in northern Australia was shattered recently when the owners were kept awake for two days by snakes having loud sex in the attic.
The amorous reptiles in question were 6-foot carpet snakes, non-venomous members of the python family whose mating ritual involves noisy thrashing and coiling around each other. In other words, the snake equivalent of humans grunting and screaming, "Oh my god! Yes, yes! Who's your daddy?" and so on.
The snake coitus spectacle may have been unique and even charming at first, but after two nights without sleep, farm owners Cecil and Ann Gakowski had had enough.
"We just couldn't sleep. There was all this hissing," Ann Gakowski told Reuters. "They were twisted up together and rolling around. They were banging against the roof."
The Gakowskis said they even swept the rutting reptiles out of the roof, but it didn't have any effect on the animals, who remained clenched together in a display of slithering lust.
"They hit the wardrobe and kept going," said Ann. "They were on our bedroom floor going for it. We just watched for about an hour because we weren't sure whether they'd get angry if we interrupted them. They were sitting up, about 2 feet up in the air, curling up and around each other."
Eventually, the Gakowskis managed to herd the snakes out the door, and watched them tumble together down the stairs.