Jerry Lewis can call off the telethon. Finally, someone is paying celebrities the attention they deserve.
In next month's issue, Elle blows the lid right off the unholy alliance between designers and the women who borrow their clothes on Oscar night. Quel scandale humongue. If those crazy iconoclasts ruling the venerable houses of European couture know one thing, it's that it's not who you know, it's who you fly in to your Paris Couture Week show on your dime that counts. And don't forget the presents.
This year Mohammed flew several mountains to Paris first class. Christian Dior had Gwen Stefani and Liv Tyler shipped in fresh from Los Angeles on the day of the show, while Versace procured Lil' Kim, Pamela Anderson and Salma Hayek at bargain-basement prices.
"Donatella [Versace] has been asking me to come for years," Anderson told the magazine. "I finally decided to because I'm ready to know what grown-up clothes are all about."
We're not convinced that Donatella's the one to instruct Pam in the finer points of dressing her age, but given grown-up designer Karl Lagerfeld's attitude, she might just have to do.
"One thing that will never die," sniffed a spokesperson for Chanel, "is exclusivity."
While "Sex and the City" stylist Patricia Field chafed at Saint Laurent's lack of enthusiasm for her presence ("Sarah Jessica Parker is like Miss America right now," the nutty pro dresser told Elle, "and she likes Yves Saint Laurent"), the designer took a minute to blow smoke up the skirt of freeze-dried social perennial Nan Kempner instead.
"With every pencil stroke," he told her, "I thought of you."
Which is so much more than we wanted to know.
"Who eez zis Jack Macdonald?" Fashion Wire Daily colorfully reports one French fashion editor asking after it was announced that Julien Macdonald had been chosen as Givenchy's new artistic director for women.
Though the designer was not among the list of expected heirs to Alexander McQueen's throne, some believe Givenchy's parent company, LVHM, looked askance at McQueen's recent sale of his line to archrival Gucci Group but gazed fondly upon Macdonald's ability to draw such familiars as Tracey Ullman, Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton and Billy Zane to his February show in London. Not that we blame them. Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton is Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton. And as if that weren't celebrathon enough, Mick Jagger was spotted backstage, seeing model-daughter Elizabeth off to the catwalk.
Jerry Hall tanked as Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate," but this is different.
Soon-to-be failed actress Naomi Campbell is getting ready to vent her infamous sound and fury on the London stage this summer in Eve Ensler's "The Vagina Monologues." We suggest Fox consider developing a series about the phenomenon and calling it "When Models Act."
Does Cerruti like its men the way torch singer Lotte Lenya does, "silent but violent"? The company will be providing Sir Anthony Hopkins his tuxedo at the 73rd Annual Academy Awards. As Fashion Wire Daily remarks, "Apparently, the label is becoming a trend for the impeccably-dressed and bloodthirsty leading man." Hopkins recently wore a cream-colored Cerruti suit as Dr. Lecter in "Hannibal" and Christian Bale wore nothing but Cerruti as serial killer Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho." Martial thespian Chow Yun Fat plans to wear a Cerruti tux to the Oscars as well. We just hope nobody gets hurt -- but if something does happen, we hope it looks like the prom scene in "Carrie."