He feels their f%#*@n' pain!

Eminem empathizes with young cursers everywhere; O.J. discusses his daughter and other "bitches"; Duchovny and Leoni make their hineys shiny! Plus: Carnie Wilson says size matters.

Published July 3, 2001 4:34PM (EDT)

As Eminem weighs his options for satisfying the community service part of his probation in that gun-brandishing case (the judge says he wants him to do something "impactful to young people"), one thing seems certain: He's not going to try to clean up the way "young people" speak.

And he has a few choice words for anyone who thinks he should.

"Of course you don't want your kids walking around in public going [in a robotic voice], 'Fuck. Suck. Cunt. Ass. Bitch,'" Eminem says in the upcoming issue of Spin. "But remember how fun it was to cuss when you were in the first grade? Just to be like, 'Fuck.' 'Shit.' My little brother was 3 years old, running around the house saying, 'Shit. Shitty-shit. Butterfly-firebutt.' It's like you can't stop it."

So don't even try.

Now then, will the real butterfly-firebutt please stand up?

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A man after Em's heart

"She's her mom all over again, she's got those German genes. Her grandmother, my wife, now my daughter -- those bitches'll wear you out."

-- O.J. Simpson on his youngest daughter, Sydney, in the New Yorker.

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Ask a silly question (one more from O.J.)

"I wonder if I've run into this person who killed Nicole? Have I talked to them? Do I see them every day?"

-- O.J. Simpson on the thoughts that go through his mind about his ex-wife's murderer, in the New Yorker.

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Introducing ... butterfly-firebutt?

Guess what? David Duchovny, who recently bared his booty in "Evolution," has taken to dropping trou for charity, too.

In fact, he and his wife, Tea Leoni, have made mooning into something of an art.

"David and I recently did some butt painting for a charity auction," Leoni tells the Calgary Sun, adding that one of their paintings raised $3,500 for an animal rights organization.

Butt painting? It's sort of like those potato prints you made in kindergarten ... only it involves naked booties instead of tubers.

"I call myself the paint loader," Leoni says. "I apply different colors to his cheeks and then he sits on the canvas. I reload and he repeats."

The best part? "Sometimes I get to spank him a little to blend the colors," she shares. "I defy anyone to say that David and I don't know how to have fun."

You might even say they have a bottomless capacity for it.

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Look who's getting his butt in gear

"I've found exercise makes me better. There could be a Johnny Rotten health video for Christmas."

-- Erstwhile Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten, revealing that even punks dream of washboard stomachs, in the U.K. Sunday People.

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Juicy bits

Anyone who's been wondering what Carnie Wilson's love life is like now that she's lost 154 pounds through laparoscopic gastric bypass surgery will be pleased to know that she's given skinny sex the big thumbs-up. "It was good then," the singer boasts this week on the "Montel Williams Show," "but it's better now!" So much for size doesn't matter.

Don't go suggesting that Cher helped pave the way for this whole reality TV thing when she and Sonny gave people a peek into their marriage on their comedy show back in the '70s. "What we did was stupid and naive and fun. Today, TV is just cruel," Cher said at a benefit in Atlanta on Thursday. "I don't know why people feel the need to debase themselves publicly. I don't think you should crush your spirit to get on TV." Navel-revealing, yes. Spirit-crushing, no.

Speaking of Cher-like fashion statements, Luke Perry would like you to know that parading around in a bustier and corset is no picnic. How does he know? He's had to dabble in sweet transvestiture to play nerdy Brad in "The Rocky Horror Show" on Broadway. "You ever worn one of those damn things?" Perry says of his corset in People. "Well, it ain't too comfortable. Fishnet stockings ... all of that. I am not remotely glamorous, and now I know why: It's just too much trouble." Wait till they hear about this down at the Peach Pit.

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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.

By Amy Reiter

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