The Fix

Lara Croft wants to be more than just a girl in tiny shorts, Martha Stewart wants to stay out of jail, and Demi Moore wants the world to know who she's dating. Plus: Liz and Dick are still hot!

Published June 3, 2003 1:49PM (EDT)

Perhaps it's the ubiquitousness of Ben and J.Lo that has caused a certain celebrity boredom to set in, but it's also the lack of epic proportions. Those old enough to remember the era of Liz and Dick know that the stars truly have gotten smaller. Taylor and Burton were not only supremely talented and attractive, but their time together -- and apart and together -- was also the stuff from which operas are fashioned. Dick could recite whole Shakespeare plays while drunk and Liz could have a hangover, show up for a 5 a.m. call, and look so ravishing without makeup that the crew would swoon. And neither of these mega-stars knew the meaning of the phrase "politically correct" -- thank god. In a recent story about the filming of "The V.I.Ps" there's this report: "One on-set observer recalls Elizabeth asking for a refill of a glass of clear liquid... "No, I didn't mean water. I meant vodka." (Liz Smith)

To get back to smaller-than-life celebs for a moment, there seems to be new evidence that Demi Moore really is hanging out with Ashton Kutcher in a hot and heavy way. They were spotted making out at P. Diddy's post-MTV Movie Awards party last weekend and their PDA was so gushy they embarrassed some of the A-list types there. Well, since she's 41 and he's 25 it can only be a good thing for the egos of mature women everywhere. (MSNBC)

Martha Stewart needs a man, that's for sure. She needs one with a law degree and some clout to get her out of the pickle she's in. The domestic grande dame may be indicted as early as tomorrow on insider trading or obstruction of justice charges. But some stock nerds are saying that Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia is still a good buy, since the company has cash and no debt. Maybe there will be enough good dish from this latest chapter for Part 2 of the NBC movie "Martha Stewart Inc." shown last month. Cybill Shepherd should be keeping that fake smile ready, just in case. (The Motley Fool)

Angelina Jolie is not saying very nice things about Lara Croft the first. The actress says she was upset during the filming of the first movie because the character was "just a cute girl in tiny shorts -- that's all." So does this mean that the sequel will have the lovely tomb raiderette flying through the air while reading "War and Peace"? Now that would be worth the price of a ticket. (Ananova)

-- Karen Croft

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Cameron Diaz a zitface? Ted Danson more wrinkly than a Rolling Stone? So it seems when they're peeped via high-definition TV. "When seen on film, Diaz's skin imperfections are not noticeable, thanks to Hollywood's talented makeup artists," Phillip Swann wrote in a recent issue of the trade magazine Television Week. "However, with HDTV, the picture is so precise that the acne damage cannot be hidden. In a high-def broadcast of 'Charlie's Angels' on HBO, Diaz looks like a different person. She's still very pretty. But to be very frank, I doubt that she would make People's most beautiful list." (Television Week via BuzzMachine)

At least Diaz can drown her pockmarked sorrows in the company of her friends Courtney Love, Drew Barrymore, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Lopez. Love says the five stars, plus Gwyneth Paltrow and Winona Ryder -- who, alas, "don't like each other" -- are all "in the club," whatever that means. Charlize Theron? "Not in our club." Salma Hayek? Not even close. Love had these lovely words to share about her ex-beau Edward Norton's current squeeze: "He'll never marry her ... for one, he can barely understand half of what she's saying." Nice. (Vanity Fair via N.Y. Post)

Michael Jackson and Puffy Combs might be starting their own club. The London Daily Star reports that the Kings of Pop and Puff are considering recording an album together. "Michael wants to resurrect his career and he's counting on Puffy to help him do it," a source told the tabloid, saying the two musicians cooked up the concept at a post-MTV Movie Award bash last weekend. "Michael doesn't like going out much but one reason he went to the party was because he knew Puffy would be there ... He's hoping Puffy can help him reclaim the throne as the King of Pop." (Sky News)

O see can you say "Never"? Oprah can. The daytime talk-show host may have branched into movies, magazines and ... um ... lots of other stuff, but she says she has absolutely no interest in extending her brand into the political sector. "People say, 'Never say never,'" Winfrey said when a fan suggested an Oprah run for the White House. But when it comes to politics, she said, "I can say, 'Never."' (Associated Press)

The (brown bunny) fur continues to fly between Roger Ebert and Vincent Gallo. Ebert says he has no idea what Gallo meant the other day when he bragged that he'd put a curse on the critic's colon, "but when I had my last colonoscopy, they let me watch it on a little TV, and it was far more entertaining than [Gallo's film] 'Brown Bunny.'" (N.Y. Post)

And speaking of flying fur, PETA protesters doused themselves with red Gatorade, got down on all fours and crawled up to Cond&eacute Nast headquarters yesterday to protest pro-fur Vogue editor Anna Wintour's CFDA award for Lifetime Achievement. "Some managing to partially wedge themselves in a revolving door before the police could restrain them," Fashion Wire Daily reports, noting that the sizable crowd that gathered to watch "seemed to be made up predominantly of confused Times Square tourists. 'What am I filming?' asked one as she joined a group of news photographers with her video camera." (Fashion Wire Daily)

-- Amy Reiter

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