The Fix

Madonna falls into the Gap, Mel Gibson and Sting pay for The David's bath and Arnold says he still has a cute bum. Plus: Gay florist needed for new TV show!

By Salon Staff
Published July 16, 2003 2:37PM (EDT)

The Gap has been featuring celebs in its ads for years, so it's not a huge surprise that Madonna is joining the crowd as a Gap girl this month, but one wonders whether she'll be wearing Jean-Paul Gaultier bras under those perky T-shirts. Could cause a whole new fashion silhouette. (CNN Money)

What has happened to the stiff upper lip, kissing and not telling and other chivalrous behavior -- or should we say behaviour? James Hewitt, the dashing ex-Guards officer who had a five-year affair with Princess Diana, has been trying to sell her love letters for millions of pounds. He recently gave an interview to Channel 4 in Britain, in part from his bath, where he said "I've had to put extra bubbles in because I'm a big boy." He also says "I think Charles was probably grateful someone was looking after his wife when he was sh***ing Camilla Parker Bowles." Again, what does all of this prove except that Mike Myers is a genius. (The Sun)

What do Mel Gibson and Sting have in common besides their boyish good looks? It seems they both love art. They are members of a group called Friends of Florence and they're contributing to such worthy projects as giving Michelangelo's The David a bath (a project in honor of the statue's 500th birthday this year). It makes sense that Sting would care, since he owns property in Tuscany. Maybe Mel just appreciates another guy with a great butt. Scroll down for a good angle here: (BBC) (The Age)

Speaking of butts, Arnold Schwarzenegger says he is confident he still has a nice one, even at his age (56). He says the crew was bigger on the days he shot naked scenes for his latest film "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines." Hmm ... are you sure that's the part of your machine they were looking at, Arnie? (Ananova)

The funniest new show on TV is Bravo's "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," mostly because of the fashion guru in the Fab Five nest of nellies that makes over hopeless hetero dudes. Carson Kressley wears loud, scary clothes but he makes his straight guys pick out flattering pieces that cover multitudes of sins. When a TV critic accused the show, which deals with fashion, interior design, food and wine, good behavior and cultural savvy, of reinforcing "every gay stereotype I can imagine," Carson took exception: "Well, not every one. 'Cause we don't have a florist. If there's any florists out there, we have an opening!" (TV Guide)

-- Karen Croft

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Christina Ricci's turning out to be a regular Billy Bob Thornton. The actress tells British Esquire she's deathly afraid of houseplants. "They are dirrrty," she says. "If I have to touch one, after already being repulsed by the fact that there is a plant indoors, then it just freaks me out." She's also freaked out by swimming pools, ghosts and "hulking, homicidal men" and keeps a stun gun by her bed because "If I know that I have everything prepared for when I get raped and killed, then I can go to sleep." (Page Six:)

Roseanne Barr tells TV critics that, despite starring in two new ABC reality shows, "Domestic Goddess" and "The Real Roseanne Show," she's only ever watched one other reality TV show "one time" before. "It was just about models talking about how they can't get laid," she says, adding that her show "Domestic Goddess" will be much less "stupid." "I just want to go around, like, examining things that make me mad, and eating," says Barr. (Washington Post)

New New York Times executive editor Bill Keller tells the New York Observer that the paper of record was powerless to protect itself in the face of Jayson Blair. "Even after you've vetted somebody's resume, talked to their references, watched them during a trial period, looked over their accuracy records, and so on, it can still be not enough. You can do a lot of things to monitor somebody's performance, but you basically trust them to do their job," he says. "We're not going to start assigning minders to reporters or bug their phones. We're not going to enact The Patriot Act at The New York Times. That would just be horrible! Who would want to work at a place like that?" He also claims no one knew what Rick Bragg was up to with that uncredited stringer thing: "If anybody really had a sense of what he did, he would have been out of here in a heartbeat."

Best of the Rest

Page Six: Worst thing about Mel Gibson's movie about Christ, "The Passion," said to be not the fact that it's in Aramaic and Latin without subtitles, but that it's "violent and graphic"; Martha Stewart puts West Village duplex back on market, drops price; Michael Wolff and Barry Diller make nice, eat lunch; Ashton Kutcher accompanies Demi Moore and Bruce Willis to daughters' summer camp, watches kiddie "Kiss Me Kate"; Ryan Adams and Parker Posey hook up, maybe seriously; David Bowie and Iman buy $1.6 million mountain in upstate New York.

Rush and Molloy: Reese Witherspoon's brother on trial for sexual battery and aggravated burglary after allegedly kissing and attempting to undress sleeping neighbor; Jenna Bush starts summer job at NYC P.R. firm, gets called "great girl" by new colleague; Mick Jagger calls Sean Combs big spender, Combs says he's "not going to play half-assed."

The Reliable Source: The Bushes host dinner tonight at White House to celebrate Gerald R. Ford's 90th birthday, piss off uninvited Ford loyalists; Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards looks to make $2-$3 million profit on sale of Georgetown home; Carole King lobbies Congress for protection of Northern Rockies ecosystem, calls Bruce Willis a "nice guy," despite the fact that he's a Republican; Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist says, "Marriage is very simple: one man and one woman. Not two men or three men or four men or one man or one woman or two women and three women or three women and three men. It's not that. It's one man, one woman."

U.K. Sun/Bizarre: Jim Carrey tries to whisk tablecloth out from under expensive tea set in hotel room in London, fails, BBC foots bill for shattered china; Dead or Alive front man and plastic surgery aficionado Pete Burns snapped going shopping without his makeup, definitely looks more dead than alive.

Romenesko: Departing Washington Post gossip columnist Lloyd Grove insists he won't be making $250,000 a year at the New York Daily News, gets dissed by New York gossips; the Washington Times screws up and prints a hoax letter purported to be from a senior U.S. diplomat, vows to "make life as miserable as we can for the jerk" who wrote the false note; Tucker Carlson reveals in upcoming book that he spent $14,000 defending himself against rape claim brought by woman with chronic mental disorder; Charlie Rose says he's "proud" of his Howell Raines interview.

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