The Fix

J.Lo's horror film history, Fab Five get a raise, and P.Diddy runs for the kids. Plus: Weight Watchers wants Renee's big butt!

Published October 31, 2003 7:01AM (EST)

The behemoth that is the weight-loss industry in America strikes again. Weight Watchers, which already uses Sarah Ferguson as a spokesperson, is now trying to sign up Renée Zellweger to do joint promos for the company. The perky actress gained a bunch for the sequel to "Bridget Jones's Diary" (for which she was paid $24 million). Now WW is offering to sponsor the loss for up to $3.2 million if Renée will stump for their program. You can just imagine the sell lines: "If you have gained weight for a movie role, or because you were treated badly by the royals, you too can lose it with Weight Watchers!" (IMDB)

Speaking of scary (weren't we?), Joel Siegel reminisces for Halloween about all the huge stars who got their starts in bad horror movies. There was the aforementioned Renée Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey in 1994's "The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Tom Hanks' first film was "He Knows You're Alone," in 1980, and who could forget J.Lo (before she was "J.Lo") in the 1997 thriller "Anacaonda." Guess she's always been good with snakes. (ABC News)

More scary news: Reports are that Microsoft is drooling over Google, hoping to rule the search engine world the way they do everything else. Hey, Google guys -- you're great. Don't sell your souls along with your stock. Please!!! (N.Y. Times)

Looks like rumors that "Queer Eye's" Fab Five might be replaced are not panning out. Carson Kressley, Thom Filicia, Ted Allen, Jai Rodriguez and Kyan Douglas have all signed on for 40 new episodes for more than twice the ice they got the first time around (word is they had been paid a measly $3,000 a show and now it's up to $8,000). But considering the much less fab "Friends" stars were getting millions, it still hardly seems fair, does it? Warning: editorial comment (it's Halloween and I'm feeling witchy) -- Guys, I adore you (I watch reruns of "Queer Eye" instead of new shows), but let's shake up the format a bit; it's as numbing as house music at times. (Hollywood Reporter via CNN)

P.Diddy is doing the right thing for the kids this week. He's running the New York Marathon on Sunday and spent 16 hours on a radio-thon to raise millions for New York kids (public schools, charities and social programs). This morning he showed up on "The Today Show" and quipped to the weatherman, "Know who I am for Halloween? Al Roker with a mohawk!" (AllHipHop)

Money Quotes
Queen of Gross: Rosie O'Donnell on how she was feeling yesterday, the first day of her civil trial against Rosie magazine publisher Gruner + Jahr: "I did throw up in the morning." (N.Y. Daily News)

Zig it: Dennis Miller on news that he's been hired to host his own prime-time political talk show on CNBC: "I have the same approach I would use if I were crossing a prison yard late at night. I zigzag to stay ahead of everyone." (Associated Press)

It's a scary day when Madonna sounds like the voice of reason: The Material Girl on marital matters and the whole Bennifer thing: "Well, to a certain extent, they courted the media attention. At the end of the day I feel like that's their job, and then there needs to be a part of the relationship that you keep private ... You know, I'm not making a judgment call on Jennifer and Ben ... we can only make assumptions about why it did or didn't happen ... [But] ultimately, if you have a strong relationship, and there is understanding of what a committed marriage is, I don't think that having a lot of media attention can break it up." ("Access Hollywood" via Associated Press)

Best of the Rest
Page Six: Former Clinton paramour Gennifer Flowers said to be mulling role in "Boobs! The World According to Ruth Wallis," an off-Broadway musical that happens to include a song about a married philanderer named "Bill"; Washington Post TV critic Tom Shales says hes honored to have been dissed on an episode of "The O.C.," which he called "breathtaking in its imbecilic banality" in a review, adds, "It's a TV critic's only shot at immortality"; California fires delay production of Leonardo DiCaprios "The Aviator" and Mike Myers' "The Cat in the Hat," also wreak havoc on L.A. Fashion Week; Learning Annex makes bid for Woody Allen autobiography, but lowballs him at $3.2 million; Click model Roberta Little to run NYC marathon in skimpy outfit made of South African flag; Washington Post ombudsman Michael Getler calls Tina Brown column, now appearing in the paper's Style section, "precious,""egocentric" and "about the worst and most irrelevant thing I've read in my three years on the job"; Donald Trump hoists sign ridiculing views from new Time Warner Center apartments, across from his Trump International Hotel & Tower; Christy Turlington and Ed Burns have baby girl; Elizabeth Berkley and Ralph Lauren's nephew, Greg, getting hitched in Mexico this weekend.

Rush and Molloy: Mel Brooks' Halloween plans: "We have set out our pumpkins and all sorts of treats and prizes to give young children strokes and heart attacks"; Billy Baldwin says that last Halloween he went as brother Alec, explains, "I was very rude"; Donald Rumsfeld says he doesn't know what mojo is, nor if he's lost it; Quentin Tarantino denies affair with Uma Thurman; Jennifer Lopez so rattled by paparazzi outside of Bergdorf's, she almost boards N.Y. city bus; Michael Wolff boasts that he once insulted Arthur Sulzberger by telling him he looked like Infinity Broadcasting CEO John Sykes; Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland arrested in L.A. on his 36th birthday for smashing BMW into parked car, and under suspicion of DUI; Chelsea Clinton and Ian Klaus flout breakup rumors by eating dinner together; Victoria Kennedy said to be pissed at Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney for comparing grabby-hands Schwarzenegger to her husband, Sen. Edward Kennedy.

Boldface Names: Max Brooks, son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft, on himself and his new book, "The Zombie Survival Guide": "I may be the nerdiest person I know. This is possibly the geekiest book ever written"; Donald Trump's brown-haired girlfriend Melania Knauss says, "They say blondes have more fun, but it's the brunettes they stick with"; Robin Williams makes surprise appearance at Denis Leary's Firefighters Foundation benefit, says he was filling in for ailing Robert De Niro; Liza Minnelli served with divorce papers at award ceremony. David Gest's lawyer says, "She took it and laughed."

--Amy Reiter

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By Karen Croft

Karen Croft is the editor of Salon Sex.

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