Jon Stewart -- right again. He noted that Britney Spears was everywhere last night, talking to everyone and his brother (and Diane Sawyer, who made her cry, so move over, Barbara!). And, notes Jon, the amount of time on air was inversely proportional to the value of what was said. The Diane inquest was embarrassingly vapid. It's hard to feel empathy for someone who is crying when you have no idea why they're crying (and suspect they have no idea either).
Stars who do things in real-life dept.: Robert De Niro, long a supporter of his 'hood in downtown Manhattan, is now expanding that support to an investment in a six-story hotel to be built near where the World Trade Center towers once stood. His development company will help manage the property, which is set to be built in early 2004. (BBC)
Plans for their scaled-down New York wedding are on hold after a recent nuptial neurosis spat between J.Lo and Ben Affleck. Hey, Bennifer, do what other people do when the pressure gets to be too much -- shut up, go to Vegas and get married by an Elvis impersonator! (IMDB)
Cool news: The corner of East 2nd Street and the Bowery will be named Joey Ramone Place on Nov. 30 in honor of the punk icon who started the Ramones. And it's on the same block as CBGBs, where the band played some of their first gigs. (Zap2it.com)
Reader poll time: On "Good Morning America" today they announced the results of a Parade Magazine poll on who you'd like to have dinner with. Seems men want to chow down with President Bush and women want to sup with Oprah Winfrey. I think it's time for Salon readers to answer the same question, since they're sure to be more creative. Dead or alive, who's coming to dinner? Send your choices to the hot tip Fix e-mail at the bottom of the next page and we'll report the results before you sit down to Thanksgiving dinner.
How you gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen Paris? News and notable quotes from the Paris Hilton sex video scandal circuit:
Will the real victim please stand up and put on some clothes?: Martin Singer, a lawyer for Hilton's co-copulating co-star, producer Rick Solomon, who is suing Hilton, her parents and her spokeswoman for slander, on the recent statements to the press "aimed at portraying Solomon as a criminal who took advantage of an incapacitated young woman" and Paris as his unwilling, "out of it" victim: "Hilton repeatedly posed and preened in front of the camera ... [taking] control of the camcorder and film[ing] herself in the bathroom [because] her breasts looked much better [there]." (Rush and Molloy)
The better to watch herself with: Paris Hilton on her favorite electronic gear, which also includes the video camera on her Nokia 3650 phonecam: "I want to get a huge, giant, the biggest flat screen you can get." (Wired magazine via Page Six)
Cheap thrills: An eBay posting offering clips of the video for sale (mostly for less than $20): "THIS IS THE video everybody has been waiting for!!!! Paris Hilton and Rick Solomon having hot sex in bed ... features Paris enjoying sex in almost every position imaginable! The video was made with a home video (camera), it is absolutely the real thing, guaranteed to be authentic Paris Hilton sex video!" (eBay via Jeannette Walls' Scoop)
And now, a word of caution from everyone's favorite sex therapist: Dr. Ruth Westheimer on the Solomon/Hilton video, which, alas, she has yet to see: "Any consenting adults that make a videotape of their sexual encounter for their sexual arousal for another episode, um, I say, 'Have a great time.' But be careful that those tapes remain private in a locked drawer in a place where nobody can get at it, and especially these days make sure that people know that electronics is all around us. Now there are cameras that are so small that unless you undress another person you don't know that they carry that on them."(Boldface Names)
Best of the Rest
Page Six: Fella named Bo Zenga, once accused of lying in court, said to have testified about Bert Fields in connection with FBI's Anthony Pellicano wiretapping investigation; Diane von Furstenberg throws bash for Gen. Wesley Clark; Kerry Kennedy's married "other man" Bruce Colley now said to be dating ex-wife of former New York Jet Mark Gastineau; witnesses say Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong cuddled "like a couple of puppies" at a Country Music Association awards after-party; Larry Flynt to publish old photos of Arnold Schwarzenegger grabbing the crotch of one woman and biting the booty of another; Tommy Lee and Pink said to have "engaged in a torrid tongue-wrestling match" at NYC party.
Rush and Molloy: Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore said to have been looking at rings and talking to a wedding planner; LAPD officers under scrutiny in connection with Anthony Pellicano investigation; Jason Schwartzman and Zooey Deschanel are an item ... again; Elton John forced to circle the block in limo to avoid garbage truck when arriving to own party; Whoopi Goldberg celebrates 54th birthday by dancing with NYC Mayor Bloomberg; Richard Gere makes Sen. Dianne Feinstein giddy during Senate visit; Wynonna Judd on her recent arrest for DUI: "I know there is never a situation where drinking and driving is acceptable. I had been out celebrating my upcoming wedding [to bodyguard D.R. Roach this month] and a girlfriend's birthday and let my excitement get the best of me. I have learned a serious lesson."