The Fix

No Super Bowl for Bono, and does Renee think she's really British? Plus: Bertolucci film to be released as an NC-17.

Published January 13, 2004 3:29PM (EST)

Afternoon Briefing:

NFL says no to Bono: The Super Bowl this year is going to be all about fun, not AIDS, so the planned halftime entertainment from U2 and Jennifer Lopez, which was going to try to focus the huge audience's attention on the disease, was axed by the football leaguers. Still scheduled are Janet Jackson and Beyoncé Knowles (the latter to sing the national anthem). (Rolling Stone)

If Bono isn't singing at the Super Bowl, he has plenty of other things to do: Not that he should give up his other jobs (rock star, AIDS activist, generally trying to make the world a better place), but he's also an artist. A set of lithographs by Mr. Hewson is going on sale at the London Art Fair to benefit the Irish Hospice Foundation, which took good care of Bono's dad until his death three years ago. (Guardian)

Does Renée think she's British?: Actress Renée Zellweger applied an English accent like lipstick for her roles in the two Bridget Jones flicks (the second of which is yet to be released). But now she thinks she can date a royal -- joking to a British paper that she hoped someone could get her a date with Prince William. She was also quoted saying she was going to call her "mum" about it, which proves she's gone over to the other side of the pond. (Ananova)

Pirated "screener" hits the Internet: Maybe it was the Diane Keaton nude scene that did it, but a copy of "Something's Gotta Give" that was sent out to an academy member made its way online today and you could hear hairpieces being torn off heads all over Hollywood. (Reuters)

Bertolucci playing with fire?: Releasing a movie with an NC-17 rating is usually the kiss of death at the box office, but the man who made "Last Tango in Paris" has made a film, "The Dreamers," that Fox Searchlight is planning to release in an uncut version with (possibly) just such a kiss. Said director Bernardo Bertolucci in what has to be this afternoon's Money Quote: "I'm relieved ... that the distributor has had the vision to release my original film. After all, an orgasm is better than a bomb." (Hollywood Reporter)

--K.C.

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Baby Boom

With Kate Hudson and Gwyneth Paltrow, Courteney Cox and Debra Messing, Leah Rimini and Geena Davis, Dixie Chick Martie Maguire and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" star Cheryl Hines all -- with the exception of brand-new mom Hudson -- pregnant, 2004 is shaping up to be the Year of the Baby. Not that 2003 was any slouch on that front, thanks to new fathers like David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Russell Crowe and (yikes!) Colin Farrell.

All this productivity got us thinking about baby names. Celebrities, we can't help but note, have a penchant for picking some doozies. As Frank Zappa, infamous father of sons Dweezil and Ahmet Emuukha Rodan (whose middle name comes from Godzilla's winged nemesis) and daughters Moon Unit and Diva, once said of Dweezil, "It could have been worse. I might have called him Ralph."

So Gwyneth and Chris, if you need any ideas, here are a few lovely monikers your colleagues have foisted on their offspring:

Bono: Memphis Eve and Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q

Dave "The Edge" Evan: Blue Angel

John Mellencamp: Speck Wildhorse (and you thought that whole Cougar thing was bad)

Sylvester Stallone: Sage Moon Blood

Bob Geldof and the late Paula Yates: Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Little Pixie (Yates' daughter with the also-late Michael Hutchence is named Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily)

John Travolta (an avid pilot): Jett

Michael Jackson: Prince Michael, Paris Michael and Prince Michael II (aka Blanket -- and, around here, "The Danglee")

Liam Gallagher and Patsy Kensit: Lennon (yes, named after John)

James Brown: Yamma (a boy) and Venisha (a girl)

George Foreman (who claims to have trouble remembering his children's names): George Jr., George III, George IV, George V, Michi, Freeda George, Georgetta, Natalie, Leola and George VI

John Tesh and Connie Sellecca: Prima Sellechia (the hazards of the firstborn, I guess)

Scary Spice Mel Brown: Phoenix Chi

Posh Spice Victoria Adams and David Beckham: Brooklyn (who, as you all know, was conceived there) and Romeo

Mia Farrow: Lark Song and Summer Song (to name just two)

Marisa Berenson: Starlite Melody

Simon LeBon: Saffron Sahara (sister to Amber Rose and Tallulah Pine, who I'm sure are just wild about her)

Basketball player Kenny Anderson and Tami of MTV's "Real World": Lyric Chanel and her sister Kenni Lauren

Don't worry, kids. You can always redub yourselves later in life, as Keith Richard's daughter Dandelion (now known as Angela) and David Bowie's son Zowie (now Joey) have done. Bowie, by the way, learned his lesson. He and Iman gave their daughter the perfectly lovely name Alexandria Zahra Jones.

Morning Briefing:

Guilty as charged? Diana Ross has agreed to accept a plea bargain, revoking her "not guilty" plea so as to avoid a trial in connection with charges of drunken driving brought against her in Arizona. (Reuters)

Moore's with Madonna: Michael Moore, said to be endorsing Wesley Clark for president, says: "He's an honest and decent man. I would like to see the general debate the deserter." (Drudge)

He feels pretty alarmed: Arthur Laurents isn't particularly pleased to hear his musical "West Side Story" labeled a gay icon, but "Queer Street" author James McCourt says, "The queer mind sees it as 'I love Tony.'" (N.Y. Post)

Lost: Last seen by his family at Christmas, actor/writer Spalding Gray, who has been depressed and tried to commit suicide in 2002, has been reported missing. (Associated Press)

Money Quote:

Writer Christopher Lloyd on his long-running sitcom "Frasier," which will end in May: "We showed, at a time when television was clearly starting on its downward path toward mediocrity, that you can still tell intelligent stories." (Associated Press)

--A.R., with additional reporting by Christopher Farah

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By Amy Reiter

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By Karen Croft

Karen Croft is the editor of Salon Sex.

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