Sean Penn reports from Baghdad: The San Francisco Chronicle gave actor Sean Penn a press credential and he went to Iraq after Thanksgiving. His first report is a well-written account of what he saw -- including signs saying "Killer for Hire." (SFGate)
Jennifer still not talking to Mom: Jennifer Aniston still hasn't introduced her hubbie, Brad Pitt, to Mom. Seems the cute-haired starlet is still upset that Mommy wrote an unauthorized book about her famous offspring. She probably used wire hangers, too. (ABC News)
Fighting words at MoveOn.org gathering in New York: Margaret Cho says she's more afraid of the PATRIOT Act than of terrorists. Moby calls Bush a "big fat f---ing liar" and Chuck D says "we do not want eight years run by a Colon, a Bush and a Dick." (Drudge)
Candidate Dean was a looker: In case you vote according to cuteness factor, some old shots of Howard in his hunky period might be of interest. (Gawker)
Is Bono obscene or not? FCC Chairman Michael Powell is trying to get his colleagues to overturn a decision they made in October that U2's Bono was not being obscene when he uttered the F-word as an adjective on TV during last year's Golden Globes (as in "F---ing brilliant"). Good use of the public's time and money, Michael. Maybe you should work on the really obscene stuff on the air, like "Survivor." (AP via NY Post)
Money Quote: Kirby Behre, a former federal prosecutor in Washington, on the Andrew Fastow case (the former Enron executive who is accused of pocketing about $45 million in ways that weren't cool): "What drives sentencing is predominantly the amount of the fraud." (AP)
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As we watch those poor shlubs on "The Apprentice" jockey for crumbs of love from The Donald (the second episode of the show airs Thursday on NBC), we at the Fix thought it might be good to keep in mind a few classic Trumpisms. Call this collection of memorable Trump quotes a primer for would-be Donalds:
"You can't be too greedy."
"As long as you're going to think anyway, think big."
"Everything in life is luck."
"A little hyperbole never hurts."
"Making choices is a lot easier when you have to answer only to yourself."
"To be in a right place at a right time is NOT ALL! You have to be able to REALIZE THAT while you are still there, and to act upon it IMMEDIATELY."
"The dollar always talks in the end."
"A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn't exactly been one of moderation."
"The first thing the secretary types is the boss." (Ba-dum-bump ... tch)
"A friend called me up the other day and talked about investing in a dot-com that sells lobsters. Internet lobsters. Where will this end? The next day he sent me a huge package of lobsters on ice. How low can you stoop?"
"The 1990s sure aren't like the 1980s."
"I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's where the fun is."
"In the end, you're measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish."
"Sometimes your best investments are the ones you don't make."
And, our personal favorite: "Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad." -- Trump to Larry King on his talk show, back in 1989
Adieu, "Taboo": "Taboo," the Boy George musical funded -- and tirelessly promoted -- by Rosie O'Donnell, is set to close on Feb. 8. Says O'Donnell, who lost $10 million on the project, "'Taboo' was by far the most fulfilling experience of my career."
Cursing the Kennedys? Bidding war rages over rights to publish new tell-all by Michael Bergin, who dated Carolyn Bessette before she married JFK Jr. (N.Y. Post)
Ben there, done that? Puffy/P.Diddy and J.Lo set tongues wagging by partying together -- dancing and toasting each other -- until the wee hours at a Miami club while Ben Affleck looks lonely in Europe. (N.Y. Daily News)
Just promised: Brittany Murphy gets engaged to her talent manager. (Associated Press)
Jimmy love: Former President Carter throws his support, but not his official endorsement, in Howard Dean's direction. (Reuters)
Money Quote: Al Franken announcing his upcoming radio talk show, which will launch with the new liberal talk radio network Progress Media: "My first priority is to get sued by a right-wing jerk in order to generate interest in my new show, the OFranken Factor. Our hope is to do drug-free talk radio, although I understand its never been done." (Drudge)
With reporting by Christopher Farah