The Fix

Call him Dr. Bono, don't call Pamela bimbo, Martha's mag gets nominated and Evita's shroud goes on sale.

By Salon Staff
Published March 17, 2004 2:56PM (EST)

Afternoon Briefing:

Since it's St. Patrick's Day, let's talk about ubiquitous Irishman Bono, whose gigs now include delivering the commencement address at the University of Pennsylvania in May. He will also receive an honorary doctor of laws degree for his troubles. Penn president Judith Rodin said "Bono has been a powerful force for change, galvanizing the action of presidents, countries and the general public." (Billboard)

I'm no bimbo: Pamela Anderson, perhaps hoping to one day receive an honorary degree herself, is going to "write" a "novel" (with the help of a hired ghost). Simon and Schuster reportedly gave the sexy scrivener a $250,000 advance for two romance novels: "Above the Waist" and "Below the Belt." Says Pam, "All the plot lines and characters are mine." (Ananova)

Collaboration of the titans: Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise will team for a remake of H.G. Wells' "War of the Worlds." But who is going to reprise Orson Welles' scary radio broadcast? (TV Guide)

Has stories, will travel: Jayson Blair is roaming the country, peddling his book and giving interviews to anyone who will have him. Right-wing commentator Laura Ingraham isn't sure if she'll do a chat with JB and says if she does it won't be like a Larry King interview. "I'd rather listen to Connie Francis for an hour than Jayson Blair," said Laura. (NY Observer)

Martha irony of the day: As Martha Stewart awaits her fate, the publication she created, Martha Stewart Living, is up for two National Magazine Awards, one for general excellence. (Ad Age)

Even in death, the gals bring in the bucks. A blue and white veil used as a burial shroud for Eva Peron is expected to sell for around $50,000 at auction. And Kate Hepburn's estate is going to be sold this summer in Connecticut and a mere lock of the actress' baby hair is being valued at between $800 and $1,200. (AFP, BBC)

-- Karen Croft

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Morning Briefing:

Delays, delays: Courtney Love's preliminary hearing on drug possession charges was pushed back for a fifth time yesterday to allow her newish legal counsel more time to prepare. Love, who showed up two hours late to court looking fresh as a daisy in a flowy flower dress and mint-green cardigan, reportedly offered to help her case by pulling out drugs from her bag for the court's review, but was told by the judge that she was not doing herself any favors by speaking out of turn. ( Plus: Matt Drudge reports that Love "broke down and was seen wiping tears from her eyes" after the hearing.

Prince, trading G-spot for G rating? Prince reportedly declined to sing two of his songs -- "Cream" and "Sexy Motherf----r" -- at his Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction because, a friend of his said, "Prince feels he has closed that overtly sexual chapter in his life." The musician's reluctance to get steamy may be a result of his new devotion as a Jehovah's Witness or, as one disappointed music industry "insider" commented, simply "what's going on in the music industry" in this post-Boobhaha era. (Page Six)

Whitney's pregnant pause: Bizarre reports coming out of Moscow that Whitney Houston might be pregnant alerted her inner circle that something might be amiss with the singer. So they "started watching Whitney even more closely" than they had been and eventually, just this past weekend, staged the intervention that convinced her to enter drug rehab. (Chicago Sun-Times) Plus: Whitney's probably kicking her habit somewhere in the Midwest -- and not at cushy rehab-for-the-stars Promises.

Stern defense" Viacom president Mel Karmazin is defending Howard Stern to Congress. The broadcast under review for allegedly including references to anal sex and the N-word "does not fall within the ambit of the indecency definition," Karmazin wrote in a letter to Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan., adding, "Our editors made the good faith judgment that the references which aired were not graphic, patently offensive descriptions of sexual activity." (Broadcasting & Cable)

Pay to play? CNBC is said to be offering $15 to anyone willing to be part of the audience for Dennis Miller's rant-filled talk show. (Rush and Molloy)

Mel's next miracle? Mel Gibson says he may make a film based on the story that led up to Chanukah. "The story that's always fired my imagination ... is the Book of Maccabees," he told WABC's Sean Hannity yesterday. (N.Y. Daily News)

Money matters to the Times: Janet Maslin and other N.Y. Times employees have been slapped for making political contributions, strictly forbidden under Times guidelines. Maslin was a Howard Dean supporter ... to the tune of $500, as it turns out. (Page Six)

Money Quotes:

Jim Caviezel's Christ in "The Passion" in a line translated from the Aramaic in subtitles as only "Take care": "Take care of the laundry." (Page Six)

"Newlyweds" star Jessica Simpson to Secretary of the Interior Gale Norton during a White House tour: "You've done a nice job decorating the White House." (The Washington Post via Lloyd Grove's Lowdown)

-- Amy Reiter

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