New Hampshire Is for Lovers

"How many of you dangle, imagining your country hijacked by leftist extremists who want to parade through your town wearing leather and carrying their feces in buckets?"

Published July 13, 2004 8:00PM (EDT)

Inside, the candidates had finished the slow lifting of their heads from prayer, and it was time for Carol O'Mealy's opening statement. She was wearing a red suit, red lipstick and enough mascara and eye shadow for many young Goth enthusiasts. When she took a breath and raised her chin, about to speak, she looked eerily like the "Like a Virgin"-era Madonna, which was the effect her makeup artist, a Texan named Houston Alamo, was hoping for. Houston Alamo, whose real name was Dallas Alamo, was raised by Mormons and had been in the Navy. Carol O'Mealy only worked with men who had been in the Navy.

The rest of this story is no longer online, but does appear in the book "The Unforbidden Is Compulsory, or Optimism."

By Dave Eggers

Dave Eggers is the author of "You Shall Know Our Velocity" and "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius."

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