A conservative cringes at the twins

By Tim Grieve

Published September 1, 2004 11:24PM (EDT)

If you just can't hear enough about the Bush twins' performance at the Republican National Convention, we commend to you the remarks of Michael Anthony Peroutka, the candidate of the Constitution Party. They're the folks for whom the current iteration of the Republican Party just isn't conservative enough.

In a statement e-mailed to reporters Wednesday afternoon, Peroutka said the twins' performance was "foolish, embarrassing, dishonorable to their parents and grandparents, and not funny.

"Did anybody else cringe and feel sorry for our President and country when Jenna Bush said that Grandma Barbara Bush is "not very hip" because she thinks the TV show 'Sex And The City' is "something married people do, but never talk about?

"Jenna Bush's assertion that 'Outkast' is a band and 'not a bunch of misfits' is --- well, just Google this motley, foul-mouthed, toilet-tongued crew. Check out their photos and lyrics. And I think you'll agree that the word 'misfit' doesn't even begin to accurately describe these raunchy rappers.

"As for Jenna Bush saying that her Mom and Dad, if begged, would 'shake it like a Polaroid picture' (an 'Outkast' lyric), the folks at Polaroid say their pictures should not be shaken. A Polaroid spokesman says: 'Almost everybody does it, thinking that shaking accelerates the development process, but if you shake it too vigorously you could distort the image. A casual shake typically doesn't affect it.'

"Barbara Bush said she and Jenna, while not very political, love their Dad 'too much to stand back and watch from the sidelines.' So, they are campaigning for him. But if they love their Dad, and I'm sure they do, and want to help him, perhaps they should not only stand back and watch from the sidelines but also be quiet while they are standing and watching.

"Finally, 'Outkast' was not at the GOP Convention. But there were those who were cast out and not allowed to speak there in primetime --- any identifiable outspoken conservative who is: Pro-life; anti-illegal immigration; pro-Second Amendment; anti-Big Government; against Federally-funded education; and anti the war in Iraq."

Tim Grieve

Tim Grieve is a senior writer and the author of Salon's War Room blog.

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