The Fix

CBS slapped with whopping fine, Brando's ashes tossed in Tahiti, and Spears "wedding" confusion continues. Plus: Which celebrities looked on as naked people simulated sex at "The Dirty Shame" premiere?

Published September 23, 2004 9:23AM (EDT)

Turn On:
Outtakes and bloopers from the O.C. sound like your cup of tea? You're in luck. Thursday night brings "Welcome to the O.C.: A Day in the Life" (8 p.m. ET, Fox). Or cheer yourself up with "Gift of Life," a six-part series about organ donorship (8 p.m. ET, Discovery Health).

Morning Briefing:
CBS's really bad week: With nary a chance to catch its breath after its news division's unauthenticated National Guard memo troubles, CBS has been smacked with a $550,000 fine from the FCC for Janet Jackson's infamous Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction. That's $27,500 for each of the 20 CBS stations that aired the breast-baring halftime performance. The network has 30 days to respond to the fine notice -- and may yet challenge the decision. "We are reviewing all of our options to respond to the ruling," the company said in a statement. (N.Y. Times) Meanwhile, a CBS affiliate in Norfolk, Va., is switching its affiliation to ABC at midnight tonight because of the memo snafu. (Washington Post)

Brando, dispersed: Marlon Brando's ashes have been scattered in Tahiti and Death Valley -- but they're not alone. The ashy remains were mixed -- at Brando's request -- with those of his late friend and former roomate Wally Cox, an actor who died in 1973 and whose ashes were in Brando's possession. The two were rumored to have been lovers at one time. (L.A. Times via Detroit Free Press, Page Six)

Remember, those were female prostitutes he cavorted with: Jimmy Swaggart is sorry if he offended anyone when he said he would kill any gay man who ever looked at him in a romantic way. "I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. And I'm going to be blunt and plain: If one ever looks at me like that, I'm going to kill him and tell God he died," Swaggart said in a worship service broadcast on TV on Sept. 12. The crowd he addressed laughed and clapped, but human rights groups protested, prompting Swaggart to say this week, "It's a humorous statement that doesn't mean anything ... If it's an insult, I certainly didn't think it was, but if they are offended, then I certainly offer an apology." (Associated Press)

Nup or no? It's still unclear whether Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's wedding over the weekend was real. The couple signed a document before the ceremony stating that they were participating in a "faux wedding" and have not yet filed a marriage license in California, where the event took place. "They do not intend and shall not marry one another on said date," the document stated. Us Weekly contends that the wedding was a sham to throw off the press and to allow the couple time to work out the sticky details of their prenup, but People magazine, which shelled out big, big bucks for exclusive wedding pix, insists that the document is "a legal fig leaf" to protect the couple during a waiting period required post-prenup agreement. That's Spears' contention, too: "We're just following our lawyer's advice. We've covered our bases," she said, adding, "I know we're not completely legal until we file the license, which we'll do next week, but in a real sense, a spiritual sense, we're married." Said Federline, "No piece of paper can capture what I feel." (People, Us Weekly via N.Y. Daily News)

Also: The premiere party in New York for John Waters' racy new film "A Dirty Shame" featured naked men and women simulating sex as attendees like Boy George, Claire Danes and Patty Hearst looked on (Rush and Molloy) ... And Bruce Springsteen is suggesting that fans of his music who don't like his politics think of him the way he thinks of the Duke: "I've been an enormous fan of John Wayne all my life, although not a fan of his politics. I've made a place for all those different parts of who he was. I find deep inspiration and soulfulness in his work" (Rolling Stone via N.Y. Daily News)

Money Quote:
No laughing matter ... Woody Allen on President Bush: "If you observe [Bush], it's quite amusing. If you listen to him as he speaks, if you follow him closely, it would provide you a great many laughs. But it's ... comic moments against a very, very tragic background." (Page Six)

-- Amy Reiter

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By Salon Staff

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