Here it comes, the "Mrs. America Pageant" (9 p.m. ET, PAX TV), in which married women from across the land march around in swimsuits and evening gowns and answer questions about their goals and dreams in an attempt to don a sparkly tiara and vie for Mrs. World. And the crime show "McCallum" (9 p.m. ET, BBCA) has its season premiere.
Immunity-waver's ugly past: Getting unceremoniously -- and startlingly -- fired by Donald Trump on "The Apprentice" the other week has apparently not afforded Bradford Cohen immunity from the leaking of a nasty little incident from his high school years in Massachusetts, during which he got into trouble for leading his fellow students in a racist cheer. "Bradford's high school, Longmeadow, was all-white," a source tells Page Six. "Longmeadow was playing their rival, Commerce High, which was 70 percent black. Longmeadow was losing horribly to Commerce, so Bradford decided to keep Longmeadow's morale up by leading everyone in a cheer that said, 'It's all right, it's OK, you're gonna work for us one day!' It didn't go over well. He got suspended." Which is like getting fired, only different. (Page Six)
Dances with transit: Kevin Costner and his young bride, Christine Baumgartner, have given Britney Spears and Kevin Federline a little competition in the klassy weddin' department. Their wedding over the weekend -- his second, her first -- which took place at his Colorado ranch, featured a "country" theme and a whole fleet of various vehicles: a horse-drawn wagon, in which the groom arrived; a green Chevy pickup truck, which carried the bride; a kayak built for two, in which said groom rowed said bride across the ranch's lake; and carts to carry the couple's 300 guests, including Bruce Willis. (Sky News)
Sad Phoenix memories rise again? Someone on the set of "Walk the Line," a biopic of Johnny Cash starring Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon, has tattled to the press that a scene in which Cash confronts details of the accidental death of his younger brother, Jack, sent Phoenix right around the bend. "Phoenix recently broke down on the set and began banging his head against a wall before being carted off in an ambulance," because the scene dredged up memories of the death of his own older brother, River, who died of a drug overdose in 1993 at age 23, reports the New York Daily News. Joaquin was 19 at the time of River's O.D. His publicist says the on-set meltdown never took place. (Rush and Molloy)
Also: Peter Bacanovic, the ex-stockbroker convicted of perjury and conspiracy to obstruct justice alongside Martha Stewart, is said to be quietly supporting John Kerry's presidential campaign, though as a convicted felon he himself can't vote. And George Takei, who played Sulu on "Star Trek," wouldn't mind seeing a regime change in the U.S., either, commenting, "Bush is responsible for the needless deaths of so many young men and women," (Lloyd Grove's Lowdown) ... CBS is rumored to be mulling over the idea of billing Janet Jackson for the $550,000 it has been fined by the FCC for airing her Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction," though Justin Timberlake is reportedly off the hook (Page Six) ... Bob Dylan's autobiography isn't out until Oct. 5, but Newsweek has published an excerpt here (Newsweek) ... And Microsoft's Slate may be snapped up by the Washington Post Company (Intelligencer)
-- Amy Reiter