David Cross smacks down Pitchfork -- on Pitchfork

A hilarious sendup of Pitchfork's often-absurd reviews.

Published May 18, 2005 5:05PM (EDT)

Pitchfork haters, rejoice: You have a new champion. Comedian David Cross, of "Arrested Development" and "Mr. Show" fame, brutalized the online publication in its own digital pages yesterday with a list of the "Top Ten CDs That I Just Made Up (and accompanying made-up review excerpts) to listen to while skimming through some of the overwrought reviews on Pitchforkmedia.com." Cross' list is petulant and sloppy, and there's more that a whiff of sour grapes about it (Pitchfork reviewer Amanda Petrusich wrote some pretty nasty things about Cross in a review of his comedy record "It's Not Funny"), but it's also hilarious. His parodies of the Pitchfork style are dead on (I particularly like the line "Let its volcanic rapture overwhelm you like a 19th century hand-woven blanket made of human hair might have done back in the days when they enjoyed such things"). But even more damning are the absurd quotes he selects from actual Pitchfork reviews, like this one, about the Arcade Fire's "Funeral": "Our self-imposed solitude renders us politically and spiritually inert, but rather than take steps to heal our emotional and existential wounds, we have chosen to revel in them. We consume the affected martyrdom of our purported idols and spit it back in mocking defiance." I'm glad that Cross had the bad temper and doggedness to write this, and glad that Pitchfork has the good sportsmanship to know when it's been schooled, and to post the schooling for all the world to see.

By Salon Staff

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