"We have tortured an elf"

A war on Christmas? Maybe there should be one.

By Tim Grieve
Published December 13, 2005 1:46PM (EST)

We seldom post comedy routines in War Room -- at least not intentional ones -- but Air America's Sam Seder tied such a pretty bow around the right's trumped-up war on Christmas during a CNN appearance Monday that we thought you'd want to see it for yourself.

Crooks and Liars has the video. Here are some of the words, beginning with Seder's nonresponse response to Krya Phillips' question about the White House Christmas card.

Sam Seder: Listen, as far as the war on Christmas goes, I feel like we should be waging a war on Christmas. I mean, I believe that Christmas, it's almost proven that Christmas has nuclear weapons, can be an imminent threat to this country, that they have operative ties with terrorists and I believe that we should sacrifice thousands of American lives in pursuit of this war on Christmas. And hundreds of billions of dollars of taxpayer money.

Phillips: Is it a war on Christmas, a war on Christians, a war on over-political correctness or just a lot of people with way too much time on their hands?

Seder: I would say probably, if I was to be serious about it, too much time on their hands, but I'd like to get back to the operational ties between Santa Claus and al-Qaida ... We have intelligence, we have intelligence.

Phillips: You have intel. Where exactly does your intel come from?

Seder: Well, we have tortured an elf and it's actually how we got the same information from al-Libi. It's exactly the same way the Bush administration got this info about the operational ties between al-Qaida and Saddam.

At which point, Bob Knight from Concerned Women of America's Culture and Family Institute cut in in an effort to get serious about his cause. He said Seder's routine would be funny if "a lot of people" weren't seeing "their faith cleansed from the public square systematically." Seder asked Knight to name one person in America who isn't allowed to celebrate Christmas. Knight couldn't do that, of course, ultimately sputtering instead into the obligatory discussion of how the Nazis banned Christmas, too. Happy holidays.

Tim Grieve

Tim Grieve is a senior writer and the author of Salon's War Room blog.

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