Penn's Coulter voodoo doll: In an interview with the New Yorker, Sean Penn fesses up to his hatred of Ann Coulter, whom he calls a "pure snake-oil salesman." Penn says he's despised the pundit at least since she wrote scathingly about his father, Leo, in her book "Treason" -- and lets slip that he has a Barbie-like effigy of her that he likes to occasionally, you know, torture. "We violate her," says Penn. "There are cigarette burns in some funny places." (New Yorker via ContactMusic)
Wilmer tells Howard all: Wilmer Valderrama, appearing on "The Howard Stern Show" mainly to promote his new MTV series, "Yo Mama," quickly got sidetracked on the subject of sex -- specifically, sex with celebrities. For instance, Valderrama claims he took Mandy Moore's virginity, and said that while it was "really good," it wasn't "like warm apple pie." He also says Jennifer Love Hewitt "was an eight" out of 10 in bed, and that he's "been blessed" with being well endowed. (Howard Stern via Perez Hilton)
Jordan Knight, once of New Kids on the Block fame, couldn't take the C-list celebrity weirdness of "The Surreal Life," and had to pull out of the new season of the show -- currently filming in Las Vegas -- after a spy says he began to "lose it": "He called everyone and told them he was just finished. He didn't say why." (Gatecrasher) ... Covering the White House under the Bush administration just isn't the prestigious beat it once was; with information so tightly controlled, reporters there tend to get a little stir-crazy. "It was the glamour beat; that's where you put your star reporter," CBS anchor Bob Schieffer tells Variety, adding that he's thought about just sending an intern to cover the White House and sending the CBS reporters to cover Congress. (Variety) ... Julia Roberts' star turn on Broadway begins Tuesday night with the first preview of "Three Days of Rain"; the play opens officially April 19. (N.Y. Daily News) ... Media giant Bertelsmann might be selling off its massive music side -- which includes BMG Music Publishing and half of Sony BMG -- and Sony Corp., Vivendi Universal's Universal Music Group and the Warner Music Group are all potential buyers. (Hollywood Reporter) ... Victor Willis, known to the world as the policeman from the Village People, was arrested on Sunday after being on the lam for several months following an earlier arrest on gun and drug charges. (Yahoo! News) ... Ethan Hawke's office in Manhattan was destroyed in a fire over the weekend, though there's no word yet on what started the blaze or what it means for Hawke, who's currently busy turning his novel, "The Hottest State," into a movie. (Gothamist)
Star Jones, calling in to "The View" on Monday to admit to having breast surgery and refute rumors that she nearly died on the operating table: "I had a boob lift. I thought it would be nice to call you guys this morning and keep you abreast of the situation." (The View via Post-Chronicle)
-- Scott Lamb
The NBC comedy "Teachers" (9:30 p.m. EST), about a high school English teacher struggling to remain idealistic about his profession in the midst of wacky co-workers, premieres tonight, as does the FX series "Thief" (10 p.m. EST). Also, A&E's "Dog the Bounty Hunter" (9 p.m. EST) has back-to-back new episodes, and CNBC premieres the undoubtedly riveting "Conversations With Michael Eisner" (9 p.m. EST).
-- Joe DiMento