Katie Holmes finally gives birth: After months of a media-scrutinized pregnancy and what we can only imagine as hours of muffled labor, Katie Holmes gave birth to a girl on Tuesday at a Los Angeles hospital. Holmes and baby-daddy Tom Cruise "joyously welcomed the arrival of a baby girl, Suri, today," according to a statement from Cruise's rep. The little one weighed in at 7 pounds, 7 ounces and measured 20 inches long. The statement went on: "The name Suri has its origins in Hebrew meaning 'princess,' or in Persian meaning 'red rose.'" (Fox 411 notes that Suri is actually Kabbalah's derivation of Sarah, which is Hebrew for "princess," while Gawker points out that the name means "Lord Krishna" in Hindu.) In New York, the news was greeted with typical enthusiasm. From Overheard in New York, a conversation on Sixth Avenue and West Fourth Street:
Girl #1: Oh my god! I just heard that Katie Holmes had her baby! Katie Holmes had her baby, everyone!
Girl #2: Xenu commands you to shut the fuck up while I'm on the phone with my dealer.
(People, Fox 411, Overheard in New York)
From the department of baby irony: Kind of unbelievably, Tom Cruise archenemy Brooke Shields gave birth on Tuesday, too. Her second daughter, Grier Hammond (7 pounds, 20 inches, for those keeping stats), was born in Los Angeles on Tuesday morning. (E! Online)
Kim doesn't know what's up with Eminem, either: Kim Mathers e-mailed Star magazine to let the world know she has no idea why Eminem married and then divorced her again this year. "I would just like to say that the reason my husband has filed for divorce still remains a mystery to me," she apparently wrote the magazine. She painted a (not exactly unbiased) picture of a reclusive and semiparanoid Eminem, saying, "It's amazing to me how he can talk as much [bleep] about anyone he wants and people buy it, but the minute someone speaks on him, they are automatically lying or trying to make some money off his name. Correct me if I am wrong, but I could swear my name is mentioned in quite a few songs that he has." (Gatecrasher)
Now that he has shuttered Neverland Ranch, paid off his employees and restructured his debt, Michael Jackson is going back into the studio. His new, Bahrain-royal-family-sponsored record label says he'll release an album sometime in 2007. (Hollywood Reporter) ... Rumor has it that, following James Ridgeway out the door, both Chuck Eddy and Robert Christgau are getting the boot from the Village Voice. (Gawker) ... Sen. Ted Kennedy will show up as a guest on this Thursday's edition of "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart," his first appearance on the show. A Kennedy advisor says: "He's a huge fan of Jon Stewart and he's very much looking forward to this." (Associated Press) ... "Da Vinci Code" producer Brian Grazer filed for legal separation from his wife, Gigi, on Tuesday, a move that had been rumored to be coming for months. (TMZ) ... It's also officially splitsville for Eddie Murphy and his wife of 12 years, Nicole. The pair's divorce was made final on Monday. (E! Online) ... After Sean Preston Spears took a fall from his highchair, mama Britney may be looking to sue her way out of a bad parenting reputation by taking the chair's manufacturer to court: "The chair's back broke," an insider tells In Touch. "She's going to see if there was a fault in the chair." (The Scoop)
Robin Williams on how he never slept with "Mork and Mindy" costar Pam Dawber: "No, we never did it, because thank God she was smart enough to know better. Thank you, Pam. You're a wonderful woman for not saying yes." (Contact Music)
Nick Lachey on how he figured out he'd be getting a divorce from Jessica Simpson: "I'll tell you how I knew my marriage was over: I was told." (Rolling Stone via People)
-- Scott Lamb
MTV's "Tiara Girls" (10:30 p.m. EDT), about girls who covet beauty pageant crowns, premieres tonight, while ABC's "Alias" (8 p.m. EDT) returns from a hiatus and author Caitlin Flanagan is on Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report" (11:30 p.m. EDT).
-- Joe DiMento