The Fix

Lohan skirts Hilton scuffle. Is Cruise making a play for the Jolie-Pitts? Plus: Screech needs your help!


Salon Staff
June 14, 2006 5:30PM (UTC)

Morning Briefing:
Hilton fires shots at Lohan: The long-simmering rivalry between Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan boiled up at Manhattan nightspot Butter on Monday -- witnesses tell Page Six that Hilton spotted Lohan and went up to her, screaming, "I can't believe you and Stavros! You are ridiculous!" After listening to the tirade -- which apparently went on -- Lohan said, "That's how you say hello? I don't need to respond to you," and left. Lohan's rep confirmed that Hilton tried to pick a fight but her client "took the high road." Hilton, meanwhile, apparently stayed behind and put on a striptease for a group of New York Giants players. (Page Six)

Screech faces homelessness: Dustin Diamond, the actor known to the world as Screech from "Saved by the Bell," was on Howard Stern's show yesterday, and after revealing that the rumors that he's unusually well endowed are true, pressed his sad, sad case: He's facing foreclosure on his house and needs to come up with $250,000, quick. His Web site is calling for donations (T-shirts are also available), and conveys this curious call to arms: "First we rallied to Free Wynona. The next time we Voted For Pedro. This time we'll Save Screech's House!" (Defamer)

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Cruise recruiting the Jolie-Pitts? The National Enquirer has a speculative story about Tom Cruise's hopes of bringing Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt into the Scientology fold. It seems Cruise called to congratulate the couple on their baby -- a source tells the tabloid, "Even though they've known each other for years, Tom Cruise was probably the last person Angelina and Brad expected a congratulations call from" -- and pitched them the idea of dropping by the church once they returned to the U.S. Possibly lending credence to the scenario, though, is the rumor that Cruise's plane flew the growing family out of Africa. Lowdown reports that a source says it was Cruise's Gulfstream IV that flew them from Namibia to Malibu: "One giveaway? The jet's tail number was reportedly N800TC -- for Tom Cruise." (National Enquirer, Lowdown)

Also:
Jerry Lewis suffered a "very minor heart attack" during a flight from New York to San Diego on Tuesday, according to his publicist, but is expected to make a full recovery. (BBC News) ... Anderson Cooper's book, "Dispatches From the Edge," will top this week's New York Times nonfiction bestseller list. (Variety) ... Eminem is making his return to the big screen as a cowboy -- he's slated to star in a movie remake of "Have Gun -- Will Travel." (Associated Press) ... For the first time since they announced they are separating, Heather Mills used the word divorce in a statement released Tuesday by her lawyers. She also revealed plans to sue the British tabloids that have been mercilessly digging into her past -- the latest story from News of the World claims she was once a high-priced prostitute. (Star) ... After only a month of marriage, David Lynch has filed for divorce from his third wife, Mary Sweeney. They have a 14-year-old son, Riley Sweeney Lynch. (E! Online) ... TNT's debut of "The Closer" on Monday broke a record: With 8.3 million viewers, it was the highest-rated scripted show ever aired on basic cable. (Hollywood Reporter) ... There's a fight brewin' between MSNBC anchors Keith Olbermann and Rita Cosby. A few months back, Olbermann wrote to a fan: "Rita's nice, but dumber than a suitcase of rocks." Cosby got wind of the e-mail on Tuesday and shot back: "Keith got it wrong. I'm not that nice." (Lowdown)

Money Quote:
Jewel talks about what she learned after she started drinking at 30: "I grew up singing for alcoholics, and it never really seemed like alcohol fixed anything. I was afraid that it would get me. Around 30, I kind of realized that alcohol really does solve all your problems. Whoever said drinking doesn't help lied. You live and you learn." (Page Six)

-- Scott Lamb

Turn On:
ABC airs the season finale of "Commander in Chief" (ABC, 10 p.m. EDT), and Court TV debuts "Haunting Evidence" (10:30 p.m. EDT). Also, "So You Think You Can Dance" (Fox, 8 p.m. EDT) contestants begin competing for viewers' votes, and Matt Lauer outlines end-times scenarios on Sci Fi's "Countdown to Doomsday" (9 p.m. EDT).

On the Talk Shows:
Larry King (CNN, 9 p.m. EDT): A show about accused murderer Mary Winkler
Charlie Rose (PBS, check local listings): John Updike
David Letterman (CBS, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Stephen Colbert, Mark Cuban, Neko Case
Jay Leno (NBC, 11:35 p.m. EDT): George Carlin, Ann Coulter, K.T. Tunstall
Conan O'Brien (NBC, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Morgan Pressel, Regina Spektor
Craig Ferguson (CBS, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Lorraine Bracco, Kevin Connolly, Jamie Jenson
Jon Stewart (Comedy Central, 11 p.m. EDT): Tim Russert
Stephen Colbert (Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m. EDT): David Sirota

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-- Lamar Clarkson

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