The Fix

Is baby Suri "funny looking"? Lindsay Lohan's crew: Smelly, rude and stumbling during private Disneyland visit? Plus: Lycra-clad celebrity bikers!

Published July 12, 2006 1:30PM (EDT)

Morning Briefing:
Suri watch continues: With the mysteries of Suri Cruise's birth certificate still being puzzled out, Us Weekly reports that Katie Holmes has been spotted in Telluride, Colo., where she assures the world that "Suri's doing great!" The mag also claims some locals have seen Suri, one saying she's "funny looking." The Us Online counter says it has been over 85 days since Suri's birth with still no public sign of her, but as the Associated Press notes, Tom Cruise didn't allow his adopted kids to be photographed until they were older -- Connor Anthony was a year old and Isabella Jane was 3 when they were first publicly photographed. (TMZ, Defamer, Us Online, Associated Press)

Lindsay's Disneyland adventure? As just one of the many parties thrown in honor of Lindsay Lohan's 20th birthday last week, the no-longer-teenage starlet was invited by Disney to have a special after-hours tour of both Disneyland and the California Adventure park in Anaheim, Calif., on Friday. As soon as Lohan arrived with a limo full of friends, though, the Disney P.R. people began rethinking the wisdom of the plan. The Disney-obsessed blog Mice Age reports that Lohan and her posse were a rowdy bunch, stumbling from ride to ride. "The [Disney employees] operating the attractions for the small group also noticed a certain smell in the air, but their supervisors insisted that they continue to operate the attractions for the group," the blog writes. "Between the obvious smell, rude behavior and the snotty attitude the entire party displayed, there were very few Lindsay Lohan fans working at Disneyland by the end of that night." (Mice Age via Defamer)

Stars on bikes: It's a weird yet somehow fitting tableau -- Matthew McConaughey and Jake Gyllenhaal out doing some bicycling with Tour de France legend Lance Armstrong in Malibu, Calif. (click on the link for photos). Scroll down to the shot of McConaughey and Armstrong buying wine together for proof that not even People's "Sexiest Man Alive" can avoid looking dorky wearing Lycra. Meanwhile in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, Zach Braff has been doing some biking of his own. A source tells Perez Hilton: "[I] was running into Zach Braff when in Amsterdam last weekend too in various situations -- posing in front of a cafe, holding up various flea market finds, cycling over a bridge with a very pretty Dutch maid in tow. In fact we were pretty much plagued by him." (Us Online, Perez Hilton)

If you didn't find yourself watching TV during the short workweek following the Fourth of July, you weren't alone: It was the worst week of ratings ever recorded for all four of the major networks. (Associated Press) ... MySpace became the most-visited site on the Web for the first time last week, beating out Yahoo! e-mail and Google to account for 4.46 percent of all U.S. Internet traffic, according to Net traffic reporter Hitwise. (Reuters) ... Jon Voight says he has never seen his estranged daughter looking better than in her baby-photo spread with Brad Pitt and Shiloh in People. "I never saw Angie's face more happy," he recently told the magazine. "I haven't seen Shiloh yet. I'm looking forward to it." (People) ... A Florida screenwriter is suing the people behind the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series, claiming that the first film, 2003's "Curse of the Black Pearl," stole ideas from an idea for a swashbuckling film he'd been working on for decades, tentatively titled "Supernatural Pirate Movie." (E! Online) ... Paris Hilton's lifelong run of good fortune just keeps continuing: E! has ordered an additional season of "The Simple Life." (Star) ... The Rolling Stones' world tour continued Tuesday as guitarist Keith Richards finally felt well enough to once again take the stage. (BBC News)

Money Quote:
Danielle Steel on her boring, staid life: "It shows how depressing my life is that the hottest rumor about me is that I bought 300 pairs of shoes." (Page Six)

-- Scott Lamb

Turn On:
"Project Runway" (Bravo, 9 p.m. EDT) kicks off a new season with a casting show followed by the first full episode, "Mythbusters" (Discovery, 9 p.m. EDT) premieres a new season, and TNT debuts its four-week miniseries "Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From the Stories of Stephen King" (9 p.m. EDT), with William Hurt starring in Part 1. Also, PBS airs the "American Masters" biopic "Woody Guthrie: Ain't Got No Home" (check local listings).

On the Talk Shows:
Larry King (CNN, 9 p.m. EDT): Dan Rather
Charlie Rose (PBS, check local listings): Warren Buffett
David Letterman (CBS, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Denis Leary, New York Mets' David Wright, the Wreckers
Jay Leno (NBC, 11:35 p.m. EDT): Matt Dillon, Parker Posey, Smokey Robinson
Conan O'Brien (NBC, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Stephen Colbert, Carlos Mencia, Lil' Ed & the Blues Imperials
Craig Ferguson (CBS, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Danny Bonaduce, Cote de Pablo, astronaut Bill McArthur
Jimmy Kimmel (ABC, 12:05 a.m. EDT): Lance Armstrong, Matt Dallas, Smoosh
Jon Stewart (Comedy Central, 11 p.m. EDT): Shawn Wayans
Stephen Colbert (Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Mort Zuckerman

-- Lamar Clarkson

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