The Fix

Cruise-Holmes offspring "a newborn and normal size." Did Paris Hilton hack Lindsay Lohan's BlackBerry? Plus: The Barry Manilow solution!

Published July 20, 2006 1:30PM (EDT)

Morning Briefing:
The Manilow repellent: Residents in the Sydney, Australia, suburb of Rockdale were being kept up at night by noisy, car-racing kids in a neighborhood parking lot, so city officials came up with a genius plan to drive them out: Set up a loudspeaker and play Barry Manilow tunes. It worked like a charm. "Frankly, I think if you played anyone's music for that long you'd drive any rationally minded human out of their mind," Manilow says. "But have they thought that these hoodlums might like my music?" Shockingly, the plan has backfired -- the same residents who were being bothered by the rowdy kids are now being driven out of their minds by the strains of "Copacabana." Now, one local says, "We can't sleep and it's driving us crazy." (Celebrity Week, the Guardian)

More Suri sightings: With the wealth of baby Suri conspiracy theories continuing to grow (She doesn't exist! She's funny looking! L. Ron Hubbard demands she be kept hidden!), thank God there's finally a reliable, firsthand report on the spawn of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes ... from unbiased source Scientologist/actress Leah Remini. Remini's account, in this week's Us Weekly, is stunningly light on concrete details: "She's a newborn and normal size," she tells the magazine, while another friend of the couple's says Suri's "a cross between the two, [with] dark, straight hair and dark eyes." Mystery solved! (Defamer, Us Weekly)

Lohan's BlackBerry hacked? Someone has hacked Lindsay Lohan's BlackBerry -- the culprit's been sending nasty messages to her friends from her number -- and the feeling in some quarters is that well-known tech geek Paris Hilton may be behind the scheme. Lohan's rep Leslie Sloane Zelnik says, "Some people think Paris may have been involved because the wording of the messages sounds very familiar." (Page Six)

Daniel Baldwin found himself in police custody at the UCLA medical center after crashing his rented silver Thunderbird into a pair of parked cars in Los Angeles. Police estimate that the actor was going 80 miles per hour -- one of the cars, a Hummer, was reportedly sent 20 feet by the impact -- and, showing real class, he was driving on a suspended license. (TMZ) ... Tori Spelling's reportedly pregnant with freshly minted husband Dean McDermott. (Life & Style) ... It had to happen eventually: YouTube is being sued for copyright infringement. The journalist who caught the Reginald Denny beating during the Los Angeles riots in 1992 on tape says footage of the video was posted on YouTube without his permission. (ZDNet) ... Also inevitable: The IRS says it's going to start cracking down on the high-priced swag celebs pick up at every function from the Oscars to Sundance -- some gifts bags are stuffed with $100,000 worth of freebies -- because the gifts are considered income. (Fox 411) ... New Line Cinema, the studio behind "Snakes on a Plane," says it won't be holding advance screenings of the film for critics before it comes out on Aug. 18. (E! Online)

Money Quote:
While maintaining that their relationship was "just so high school," Justin Timberlake gets all gushy over ex-flame Britney Spears: "I was in love with her from the start. I was infatuated with her from the moment I saw her." (GQ via People)

-- Scott Lamb

Turn On:
Tonight, "American Eats" (History, 10 p.m. EDT) explores the world of soda and "The World Series of Pop Culture" (VH1, 10 p.m. EDT) moves to a new time slot. Also, take your pick of films: "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" (TCM, 6 p.m. EDT), "The Big Lebowski" (Showtime, 8 p.m. EDT) or "Serenity" (Cinemax, 10 p.m. EDT).

On the Talk Shows:
Larry King (CNN, 9 p.m. EDT): Hunt for Warren Jeffs
Charlie Rose (PBS, check local listings): Rupert Murdoch
David Letterman (CBS, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Martin Short, Pink
Jay Leno (NBC, 11:35 p.m. EDT): Colin Farrell, Brian Williams, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Conan O'Brien (NBC, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Uma Thurman, Kevin Smith, the New York Dolls
Craig Ferguson (CBS, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Toni Collette, Lawrence Block, Joe Theismann (repeat)
Jimmy Kimmel (ABC, 12:05 a.m. EDT): Robin Williams, Anna Faris, Rhymefest
Jon Stewart (Comedy Central, 11 p.m. EDT): Paul Giamatti
Stephen Colbert (Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Tom Brokaw

-- Lamar Clarkson

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By Salon Staff

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