The Fix

Andy Dick goes on licking and groping spree. Jerry Springer joins cast of "Dancing With the Stars." Plus: Celebrity ping-pong!


Salon Staff
August 15, 2006 5:30PM (UTC)

Morning Briefing:
Andy Dick = totally insane: At the Comedy Central-sponsored roast of William Shatner in Los Angeles on Sunday night, sorta funnyman Andy Dick had his very own Courtney Love moment, publicly melting down in a way that cries out for an intervention. Apparently visibly drunk for the duration of the show, Dick started licking comic Patton Oswalt's face after Oswalt joked about Dick's cameo in Jessica Simpson's "Public Affair" video (in which Dick licks Simpson's roller skates). Dick went on to turn his tongue on Farrah Fawcett, Carrie Fisher and Nichelle Nichols (who played Uhura on "Star Trek") during the taping. But he really let loose at the after-party, taking a piss in front of New York Post reporter Mandy Stadtmiller, then offering her cocaine, then trying to grope her and finally biting her hand. Asked by Stadtmiller why he started with the licking, Dick responded: "I was doing it because I was desperately trying to tie the show together like a fisherman with tuna, and you're a little piece of fresh tuna. But thanks for asking. Do you want me to lick your face now?" (Page Six)

Dancing with my nightmares: As if just having the fleet-footed Tucker Carlson weren't enough, ABC has released the full cast list of this season's reality TV train wreck, "Dancing With the Stars." News that Carlson would be trying to bolster his ratings by appearing on the show first started circulating last week, and now it looks like he'll be joined not only by "Saved By the Bell" tough guy Mario Lopez (aka AC Slater) but also by Joey Lawrence and the inimitable Jerry Springer. (Fishbowl DC)

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FCC cracking down on TV propaganda: Taking a break from monitoring the nation's airwaves for the slightest trace of obscenity, the Federal Communications Commission has launched an investigation into broadcasters who've aired unattributed video news releases as straight news. The FCC sent letters to 77 TV broadcasters on Friday seeking more information on the practice, which an April study by the media groups Free Press and the Center for Media and Democracy found to be widespread. "The public has a legal right to know who seeks to persuade them so they can make up their own minds about the credibility of the information presented," FCC commissioner Jonathan Adelstein told reporters. "Shoddy practices make it difficult for viewers to tell the difference between news and propaganda." (Hollywood Reporter)

Also:
Kate Hudson and her husband, Black Crowes frontman Chris Robinson, are splitting up after almost six years of marriage. The couple has a 2-year-old son, Ryder Russell Robinson. (People) ... As predicted, Boy George's first day on the job doing community service street-sweeping in New York turned into a media circus -- click the link for photographic proof. (Defamer) ... The royals are finally out causing trouble again after a long spell of good behavior -- Princes William and Harry were photographed partying recently in London, with one shot showing Harry "saucily groping" a "friend's" breast. (The Sun) ... The Village Voice has finally found a new editor, hiring current New York Sun TV critic David Blum for the top spot. (Fishbowl New York) ... Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards have reached an amicable resolution in their divorce -- and while the settlement isn't yet finalized, Richards' restraining order against Sheen has at least been dropped. (E! Online) ... In case you have some deep, unexplained desire to see your favorite stars playing ping-pong, there's a site out there specifically for you: This shot of Vince Vaughn seems to capture something essential about him, while Christina Applegate's photo defies explanation. (LarryTT.com via Rush & Molloy)

Money Quote:
Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsay, rates her prospects as the host of her own talk show, which is reportedly in the works: "I love to talk. Lindsay's friends call me 'The White Oprah' because they all come to me with their problem. I'm like the mom of these kids in the business!" (Star)

-- Scott Lamb

Turn On:
"The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency" (Oxygen, 10 p.m. EDT) and "The Real World" (MTV, 10 p.m. EDT) have their season enders, while Damien Fahey and Shaun Robinson host the "Miss Teen USA 2006" pageant (NBC, 8 p.m. EDT). Also, take your pick of two 2005 flicks: Michael Showalter's "The Baxter" (Showtime, 6:15 p.m. EDT) and Frank Miller's "Sin City" (Starz, 6:20 p.m. EDT).

On the Talk Shows:
Charlie Rose (PBS, check local listings): Co-chairmen of the 9/11 Commission Thomas H. Kean and Lee H. Hamilton
David Letterman (CBS, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Hilary Duff, Dirty Pretty Things
Jay Leno (NBC, 11:35 p.m. EDT): John C. Reilly, Christina Milian, Pharrell (repeat)
Conan O'Brien (NBC, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Harrison Ford, Amy Adams, K.T. Tunstall (repeat)
Craig Ferguson (CBS, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Matt Dillon, Padma Lakshmi, Paula DeAnda featuring Baby Bash
Jimmy Kimmel (ABC, 12:05 a.m. EDT): Jonathan Winters, Kenan Thompson, Against Me!
Jon Stewart (Comedy Central, 11 p.m. EDT): Samuel L. Jackson
Stephen Colbert (Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m. EDT): David Gergen

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-- Lamar Clarkson

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