Celebrity skin

Why can't stars avoid bad behavior? Table Talkers weigh in this week.

Published December 8, 2006 11:00AM (EST)

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Bizarre Hatred of Random Celebrities, Part the Fifth

Valley Girl - 08:22 am Pacific Time - Dec 5, 2006 - #9897 of 9979

I was driving home last night and the folks on the radio were talking about all the stupid things celebs have been doing in public lately. And for just half a second I thought, "Well, but it can't be easy having your every move photographed."

Fortunately, I immediately came to my senses. You know, I could have 700 photographers following me around every time I left the house and they would NEVER catch me a) flashing my hoo hoo to all and sundry (a la Britney and Lindsay); b) showing up for work drunk (Danny DeVito); or c) throwing a fit when someone else wins something I was hoping for (Faith Hill).

We're not asking those dimwits to be perfect people every second of the day. But can't they manage to NOT act like complete and utter trash when they are out in public? I can manage it and I don't have agents and publicists and assistants helping me out 24/7.

E Fulton - 08:57 am Pacific Time - Dec 5, 2006 - #9902 of 9979

Word on the ability to not be drunk or commiting indecent exposure without paparazzi. I've always had some sympathy for the celebrities who are photographed not wearing makeup for the purpose of deriding their natural looks. I wouldn't want to feel pressured to wear makeup all the time if I wasn't working, especially with the amount of makeup people in TV and film wear. And I don't like when celebrities are photographed doing normal stuff with their children, unless said celebrities have pimped out their children as evidence of their heterosexuality and/or idealized parent status (i.e., the Reese Witherspoon "perfect mom" type or the Madonna "children changed my life and made me more spiritual" type; see also, Tom Cruise). But the "don't photograph me while I'm partying and making an ass out of myself" whining? The "sorry -- forgot that appearances on TV are public" lack of self-control? The general classlessness of most celebrities doing things only celebrities do? Well, those things all make me very thankful for a place like BHoRC, without which I would be a much more bile-filled person indeed.

Molly Bloom - 10:40 am Pacific Time - Dec 5, 2006 - #9905 of 9979

I've managed to live 47 years on this planet without throwing a phone at a hotel desk clerk.

I mean, really.

Blue Bunny - 10:41 am Pacific Time - Dec 5, 2006 - #9906 of 9979

I never slapped a cop, either.

Valley Girl - 11:00 am Pacific Time - Dec 5, 2006 - #9907 of 9979

Never thrown my cel phone at anyone's head. Never been busted for soliciting a cop in a public restroom.

I really need to get out more.

Verbal Remedy - 12:03 pm Pacific Time - Dec 5, 2006 - #9908 of 9979

Never been busted, period. Haven't smacked or screamed at somebody since about age 11. Never wondered whether tuna is chicken. Never stopped by police while driving with alcohol in my system (although I'm not saying that hasn't happened -- what I'm saying is, my driving after imbibing even one beer is so methodical, so careful, that I've never ever provoked a friendly policeman to pull me over because I was doing something asinine like weaving, doing 155, etc.)

Never had a "wardrobe malfunction" that bared any part of my secondary sex characteristics.

Oh, my, the things I've missed out on, not being a celebrity.


By Salon Staff

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