YOUR STUPID

In honor of April Fools' -- and the fools all year long -- Salon's reader community Table Talk offers the ultimate in troll posts.


Salon Staff
April 6, 2007 2:22PM (UTC)

TT Central

The Trolls-only thread

nerdnam - 01:28 pm Pacific Time - Apr 1, 2007 - #1 of 9

I believe one person's troll is another person's Internet hero. That makes me a hero, not a zero!

I believe guns should be banned and that only aborted fetuses should be used for self defense. And then, nobody should have a abortion so then everybody should die! HAHAHAHA!

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I want all liberals to die in screaming agony. And then afterwards I want to see if they left any good sex tapes. Leftovers in the fridge would be fine, too.

I think boomers SUCK. And so do their children. And their parents SUCK as well! And, most especially, so do all of their aborted fetuses!

I believe the chocolate Jesus is really white. Why? Because I know for a fact that chocolate bunnies are really white. And if you don't agree with me, I will point out that you are the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler. And a racist, I might add. Why? Because I said black and white first! That makes me Martin Luther King Jr over you, HAHAHAHA!

I believe that anyone with a body opening that I can put my penis in, such as a pore, is gay. And so will you please stop talking to me all the time about your disgusting throbbing sweaty glands, you dirty disgusting pore?

I believe that evolution is a Jewish conspiracy. We were so much better off as apes. And I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald took down the twin towers with one well aimed shot. Or maybe it was a lucky shot. Maybe JFK helped. Or maybe he was on the plane?? Or the planes??? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED ON 9/11????

I believe Dick Cheney is sane, pleasant, and polite. So fuck off, you big time major league a-hole, because we're winning in Iraq. In fact, we've ALREADY won and we pulled out last year. I could link to Newsmax to prove it, if I cared. But I don't care -- because now I only care about the war in Iran -- which we already won in the time I took to tell you about it! Bring on the parade!

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I believe that everything I type should be in small caps, for maximum cuteness. However, I keep getting excited and then I forget to not capitalize my sentences. As you can probably tell, I'm pretty much always excited! Just that way, I guess.

I believe George Bush is a genius and if you don't see it, well, it's because YOUR STUPID.

Posts of the week is an ongoing feature of Table Talk, Salon's vibrant community forum. Older posts of the week may be found here in TT. Want to join the discussion? Sign up here.


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