The best press release we've received all day. No, actually, all year.
Meet the "Jildo," a wooden dildo that's sweeping the nation. No? It's not? Well, it's sweeping the Salon editorial in boxes, anyway. In boxes. Get it? Ba-dum-bum!
Anyhoo, if you think "wooden dildo" sounds horrifying, you're so right. But don't worry. According to the product's Web site, the Jildo is "guaranteed safe," "guaranteed unique," guaranteed to "become more beautiful with time" and guaranteed to be "absolutely splinter proof." Phew!
Also, it looks just like a crazy penis rolling pin! So when you're done getting off, you can bake a pie crust. Perfect for Caitlin Flanagan!