Quote of the day

Chuck Norris doesn't like anyone muscling in on his territory.

Published February 12, 2008 9:48PM (EST)

"Did you catch the great showdown this past week? No, not Super Tuesday but the late-night television comedian battle over who discovered and 'made' GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. ... As I've said on many occasions, I helped light the spark for Mike's campaign, but a spark will go out if it doesn't have a catalyst behind it. Mike's character and message turned that spark into a raging fire. And I challenge anyone who hasn't examined his platform carefully to do so. What awaits is the discovery of a full-fledged conservative.

"Incidentally, regarding the three late-night comedians using my life at the center of their scornful and cynical mocking to justify their positions in creating the Huckaboom, I have something lastly to say: I suppose if I believed all those 'Chuck Norris Facts' still circulating on the Internet, I'd have to believe the one today that says, 'There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.' Ergo (as Conan has said), one rightfully can conclude, it is I (Chuck Norris) who actually made Conan, Colbert and Stewart -- or at least still allow them to live. And just like God might be saying to conservatives even now, I also say to them: Don't make me come down there."

-- Chuck Norris, writing about the mock controversy between late-night hosts Conan O'Brien, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart over Mike Huckabee, in a column on Townhall.com.

By Alex Koppelman

Alex Koppelman is a staff writer for Salon.

MORE FROM Alex Koppelman

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2008 Elections Mike Huckabee War Room