"Did you catch the great showdown this past week? No, not Super Tuesday but the late-night television comedian battle over who discovered and 'made' GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. ... As I've said on many occasions, I helped light the spark for Mike's campaign, but a spark will go out if it doesn't have a catalyst behind it. Mike's character and message turned that spark into a raging fire. And I challenge anyone who hasn't examined his platform carefully to do so. What awaits is the discovery of a full-fledged conservative.
"Incidentally, regarding the three late-night comedians using my life at the center of their scornful and cynical mocking to justify their positions in creating the Huckaboom, I have something lastly to say: I suppose if I believed all those 'Chuck Norris Facts' still circulating on the Internet, I'd have to believe the one today that says, 'There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.' Ergo (as Conan has said), one rightfully can conclude, it is I (Chuck Norris) who actually made Conan, Colbert and Stewart -- or at least still allow them to live. And just like God might be saying to conservatives even now, I also say to them: Don't make me come down there."