My mother-in-law put a curse on us and spat in my husband's face

I really think we are cursed now, because I am not Greek. How do I remove the curse?

Published April 7, 2008 10:37AM (EDT)

Dear Cary,

My mother-in-law put a curse on my husband and me -- I believe she couldn't get through to me and so she attacked him. She cursed that he would never make any money in his life, that he would lose his business, lose his wife, me, and the kids, and be completely destroyed. And to seal the curse, she spat in his face twice.

I'm a very superstitious person and I truly believe that she sealed this curse on him. The reason is that they are Greek and I am not. They want control over us, and I refuse to have anyone control me anymore. I've been with him for over 12 years, eight of which we've been married; we have three little kids together. I've done everything I could to make them happy and to basically accept me, and no matter what, they just don't. They would be fine in front of me and then talk behind my back to others. The entire family and friends have told me the things they've said, but yet, I put it aside. My little cousin died (12 years old), and they never came to the funeral, and they didn't even apologize -- instead they completely avoided me and had no respect.

Anyway, that was the beginning of my awakening, and I stopped doing all the things that I was previously doing for them, like their laundry, their housecleaning, ironing, etc., just everything. We had a huge blowout last year around the same time because I went to do my hair -- and they were like, Why should I highlight my hair? What, was I trying to be a model? Well, it started like that and became really huge, and now this.

Any help on how to remove this would be great.

Cursed by Mother-in-Law

Dear Cursed,

I hope you will forgive me if I tell you I don't believe in curses in the literal way. But I believe trauma can be a kind of curse. It must have been very traumatic to see your mother-in-law spit in your husband's face! It must be very traumatic to have this family that does not accept you and that works against you and does not respect you. And if they feel that because they are Greek and you are not, that they are better than you, that must be terribly discouraging.

Trauma can of course be a kind of curse. It can weigh you down and paralyze you and confuse you and fill you with fear and ultimately bring about the very thing that it has no "real," demonstrable power to bring about -- your failure, your misfortune!

People's words can be a curse. While one can take this to extremes, I think it is true that by speaking certain words habitually, or in a traumatizing way, we can send messages to ourselves and to others that in a sense bypass our conscious control and affect us profoundly without our consent. Someone may say to a child over and over, "You're no good. You'll never be any good," and they may as well have cursed that child. We can affect other adults with our words as well. And surely, an attack such as you describe can put a curse on an adult son, rendering him weakened, fearful, put-upon and unloved, rendering him bitter and unhappy. That bitterness and unhappiness, in turn, might bring about the very effects the curse intended. Also, because a son desires to prove his mother right, he may in some way now wish to fail, in order to please his mother, whom he no doubt loves in spite of her mistreatment.

Finally, if you believe the curse is real, then it is real, and it must be lifted somehow. You must find the correct ritual to lift it.

How can you break such a curse as that? Perhaps you have ritual methods that others in your family have used? If so, use them. If not, I don't know. Perhaps you can write a letter to your mother-in-law, informing her that the spell has been lifted by an agency of your own devising. Perhaps to unseal this curse and break its spell, you could perform some magic on your husband's face; perhaps you could dab it with warm water, or magical oils, until the mother's curse is gone; or perhaps he could go have a facial. Perhaps you and your husband could go sit in the enzyme baths up at Olema and be purified.

Rituals can have great power to heal, but it must be the right ritual. I encourage you to undertake some rituals to remove this curse. The choice of ritual must be yours, however, as I do not even know what region of the world you are in. Olema is in Northern California, and we're all crazy here. We'll believe anything.

How to reverse a mother's curse? See page 255.

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