The Cedric Benson Index

The Chicago Bears waive the underachieving running back after his second alcohol arrest in five weeks.

Published June 10, 2008 6:50PM (EDT)

Number of times since May 5 that disappointing former first-round draft pick Cedric Benson of the Chicago Bears has been arrested for allegedly boating while intoxicated: 1

Number of times since Saturday that Benson has been arrested for allegedly driving a car while intoxicated: 1

Number of NFL teams that employ Benson following his latest arrest: 0

Number, since his latest arrest, of columnists, bloggers, commenters, commentators, letter writers, radio hosts, radio callers and barstool sitters who have used some variation of a joke about Benson going for a land-sea-air DUI trifecta by commandeering an airplane: 36,734,862

Number of typists whose caricature appears above left who would have done the same if the last number had been lower than 30 million: 1

By King Kaufman

King Kaufman is a senior writer for Salon. You can e-mail him at king at salon dot com. Facebook / Twitter / Tumblr

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