N.Y. Post burns down Yanks' security theater

It takes one day for the paper to embarrass the team into lifting its absurd sunblock ban.

Published July 23, 2008 6:10PM (EDT)

Someone put the New York Post to work on airport security.

All of one day after the paper reported on the New York Yankees' absurd sunblock ban, the team announced it would allow fans to bring the stuff into Yankee Stadium in containers of any size. Still no aerosol cans, though.

The Yankees had been confiscating sunblock at the gates in order to protect the park -- I am not making this up -- from terrorism.

The Post reported that the team had decided to allow sunblock a few weeks ago, but only in containers of 3 ounces or less. But the club never told anybody of that rule. In fact, it never announced the sunblock ban either, the Post writes. It just started taking the stuff away.

Oh, and by the way: Selling hits of it for $5 an ounce.

Have you ever noticed that every time a business makes a move for "security reasons," it's good for sales?

New Yorkers roasted and burned in the hot summer sun in one of the more successful sorties in baseball's ongoing War on Fans. Doing actual physical harm to the fan base: You really have to tip your hat, which you'd better have been wearing if you'd gone to a Yankees day game recently.

But I'm actually a little sorry the Post's coverage embarrassed the Yankees so quickly. I was hoping to organize a thing where every Yankees fan took a 3-ounce container to the game on a certain day. Or better yet, night, so none would have to be wasted actually blocking the sun.

Fifty thousand 3-ounce containers would have totaled almost 1,200 gallons of sunblock! Think of the terrorist mayhem that might have ensued! Why, we could have -- wait, what is it that terrorists supposedly do with sunblock?

Good for the Post for exposing this blatant act of security theater. Now, if it would turn its attention to the legions forced to remove their shoes and belts at airport gates, we could really be getting somewhere.

By King Kaufman

King Kaufman is a senior writer for Salon. You can e-mail him at king at salon dot com. Facebook / Twitter / Tumblr

MORE FROM King Kaufman

Related Topics ------------------------------------------

Baseball Terrorism