Palin' around

Can you talk like a V.P. candidate? Members of Salon's Table Talk community take a crack, and do a heckuva job.

Published October 6, 2008 1:41PM (EDT)


Can you talk like Sarah Palin?

Jared2 - 11:52 am Pacific Time - Oct 1, 2008

Do your best (I mean your worst)

I can't tell you how much, because of national priorities it is important to be understanding what a lot of folks need to remember so that we should, I mean, have the balls to do the right thing because it is the right thing to do and it should not be a matter of but should be seen clearly as a creating of proper role in government.

JoshD - 03:30 pm Pacific Time - Oct 1, 2008 - #2 of 24

What is important, and this we hear as a daily, is how can jobs be bettered? And the answer is, the answer I hear is, that I hear is that what I hear is yes. And so we must.

Gulielma Springett - 03:54 pm Pacific Time - Oct 1, 2008 - #3 of 24

We shouldn't blink when oil and the Middle East, I hear this all the time, Alaska is important to this topic. And we shouldn't blink. Rhetorically speaking, of course.

Esme - 04:04 pm Pacific Time - Oct 1, 2008 - #4 of 24

What is important, and this we hear as a daily, is how can jobs be bettered? And the answer is, the answer I hear is, that I hear is that what I hear is yes. And so we must.

Vinca Minor - 12:46 am Pacific Time - Oct 2, 2008 - #6 of 24

I'll get back to ya on that and if they don't, it's ... can I have some time to text my people for an answer? that's the kind of resourcefulness that got me through college exams ... I'll shoot you like a moose. From an airplane.

Sky Bluesky - 09:32 am Pacific Time - Oct 2, 2008 - #9 of 24

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Well, that's a good one there. Chickens, now, chickens are so important to this great blessed country that we have, that we share. Commerce, and agriculture, and of course just the number that Americans purchase every year for all their various purposes. I am a great supporter of chickens and of their dear offspring, which we know to be eggs. Or, I suppose you could say, omelettes. Even though I prefer them in the sunny side up manner, but you know, to each his own, freedom of choice, one of those amazing things that makes us so fortunate to live in this wonderful country.

And so the question seems to me to be one of safety. And so, yes, with the roads, making sure that there are, oh, crossing guards and stop lights, because chickens should feel that they are safe in our neighborhoods. And of course, more police on the street. So that's what I would do, and of course, also education to make sure that chickens know where they need to go and that they have the tools in their toolbox to get them where they need to go. But ultimately, the infrastructure, we're going to have to invest in our infrastructure and that means public and private sector coming together, both of them, to strengthen our highway system and highways and roads all across this great country.

Keith - 01:24 pm Pacific Time - Oct 2, 2008 - #12 of 24

Governor Palin, what did you have for lunch today?

Well, y'know, the beauty of our precious ... our freedoms, is that, well John McCain has been saying, and as I've been on a more local level been, on a much more local level been also rallying against is the undue influence of food industry lobbyists in food policy decisions being made.

(blank stare)

But what did you have for lunch today?

Well, Alaska is, it's different up here on the maritime border with Russia, between two foreign countries, with the eyes of Putin always on you, and so there's hunting, and fishing - though polar bears definitely aren't endangered - and I think that the world is looking to John McCain, and his track record of the leadership qualities and the pragmatism that's needed to decide what food, exactly, is best for lunch, and that's what I think Americans at the end of the day are going to be able to go back and look at track records, and see who's more apt to be talking about solutions, and wishing for and hoping for solutions, for some opportunity to order a good lunch, and who's actually done it.

I'm going to give you one more opportunity -- can you name what food you ate for lunch today?

All of it ... most of it that's come across my desk up there in Alaska, near Russia and Putin's eyes. I'm not looking at poll numbers about what's the popular thing for lunch, because I, because John McCain and I are known as the mavericks, though. Taking shots from our own party, and doing reform. I was against the bridge to nowhere that led to the deli where the lobbyists go and get their lunch, and when they offered me a pastrami on rye, like the elitists eat down in the big cities, I just said "thanks but no thanks", 'cause don't ya know that mooseburgers are my favorite food, and the freedom that we all have to enjoy them.

So, you had a mooseburger for lunch?

Whatever would help the health, the health care coverage that Main Street needs ... oh! And the job creation, which we can't forget about, and how living in Alaska, where I can see Russia and Putin looking back at me, near their heavy Russian foods, has helped me with experience, but outsider far from Washington experience, in ordering lunch. Joe six-pack.

Jared2 - 11:59 am Pacific Time - Oct 3, 2008 - #21 of 24

Doggonit! Nuclure weapons ain't the "be-all" but they sure as hell would be the "end-all". So they have to be a deterent 'stead of an interent.

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