Just when I think Campbell Brown couldn't possibly get any dreamier, she comes up with another rant that makes me wish she'd come over to my house so we could sit in our jammies and braid each other's hair and unleash a righteous fury on every slimy, desperate politician who crosses the TV screen. Until she calls, I'll just continue to sit in my jammies and braid my own hair while watching every "Campbell Brown takes down [loathsome person]" video that crosses the internet.
The latest (below) is her outraged commentary on an ad Elizabeth Dole is running, accusing her opponent in the North Carolina U.S. Senate race, Kay Hagan, of being an unbeliever. ("She took godless money!") The ad begins by claiming, "A leader of the Godless Americans PAC recently held a secret fundraiser in Kay Hagan's honor" -- which is desperate Republican speak for "One of the 40 people involved in organizing a recent fundraiser for Kay Hagan is an admitted atheist" -- and ends with a female voice crying, "There is no God!" over a picture of Hagan. Hagan's a practicing Presbyterian and former Sunday school teacher, but you know, that totally could have been her voice! We know one atheist likes her! Think of the children!
Enter Campbell Brown: "Is this really what it has come down to? We are fighting two wars, our economy is a disaster, and Senator Dole's message to voters is to falsely accuse her opponent of not believing in God?" Because Brown has far more class than I do, she does not follow that up with, "Seriously, are you fucking kidding me?" Instead, she advises politicians like Dole -- those "desperately trying to hold on to your jobs right now, wallowing in the mud, willing to stoop to any level" -- to "Just say no to your own craven ambition. Just cut it out. Reclaim your dignity!" I'm pretty sure that once you're running ads that amount to "I saw Goody Hagan with the devil!" the dignity ship has sailed, but it's such a nice thought.
Ah, Campbell, where have you been all my life?