Surprising exactly no one -- except, possibly, John Edwards' spokesperson, whose leisure dinner Wednesday night was very likely interrupted by approximately five billion calls -- the National Enquirer is reporting that "secret DNA tests" prove Rielle Hunter's 18-month-old daughter Frances is, in fact, the spawn of a particular former presidential candidate. (Hint: It's not Dennis Kucinich.)
Sure, take it all with a grain of salt or ten: This is the National Enquirer -- but that's the pub that broke news of the affair, and it hasn't been wrong about the story yet. If the report proves true, then we can finally end this charade about "who's really the dad," and families can start healing, and long-suffering wives can start accepting, and politicians can stop lying -- or, at the very least, child support arrangements can be made, stat.
Last Thursday, as War Room reported, Hunter testified in front of a grand jury to determine whether or not campaign funds were illegally funneled to her. So the twists may keep coming, but perhaps one chapter is (dare we dream?) closed.