(Note: This post contains several links that are NSFW and may lead to sexual nightmares.)
On etsy.com, the beloved outpost for creative, kitschy and beautiful handcrafts, every listing includes a link that asks "Got a question about this item?" But there’s no easy answer to "What’s up with the painting of the naked girl with the mittens and being fondled by a bear?" or "Penis in a Jack-o-lantern, WTF?"
For that, there’s regretsy.com. Since its launch last month, regretsy, with its motto, "Handmade? It looks like you made it with your feet," has become a hall of fame for artistic impulses gone oddly awry. And if there’s one theme that’s emerged from day one, it’s that "handcrafted" and "adult content" go together like vulva portraits and pendant charms.
The site has a minimum of commentary, letting the fetus catnip toys do most of the speaking for themselves. And if a recent search of "mature" on etsy itself is an indication, regretsy will be with us for a long, long time.
There’s something almost inspiring knowing that somewhere right now, someone is toiling patiently to sew an "OVERSIZED" vagina on a teddy bear or spray paint a masturbating dinosaur or crochet a "plug rug" tampon cozy. If you can believe in a ribboned, flower-festooned porcelain dildo, you can achieve it.