Don't quit your day job, Jamie Jungers

Holiday shop like a golf mistress!

By Mary Elizabeth Williams

Senior Writer

Published December 17, 2009 12:18PM (EST)

Let the cashing in begin. Tiger Woods may be losing sponsorship deals, but his ladies are suddenly in demand. Jamie Jungers, aka the one who says she banged Woods the night his dad died, aka "mistress number four," has been snapped up as the face of stress-free online shopping for auction site

In the spot, which has a low budget, Cassavetes-like vibe, Jungers sits behind a desk and gamely endeavors to recite her lines. "All I ask is what I do and what's happened between the golf legend and I to be between us, and spare me and let me shop." Prepositional phrase mangling -- that's so edgy.

She then explains that they have the latest gadgets, "from Nikons to iPods to hair straighteners" -- at which point she absently touches her own straight hair. And when she says, "Seriouslyguysthisisfunyououghttotrythisatleastonce," it's the bravest triumph of chutzpah over ability since Pierce Brosnan opened his mouth to sing in Mamma Mia!

By Mary Elizabeth Williams

Mary Elizabeth Williams is a senior writer for Salon and author of "A Series of Catastrophes & Miracles."

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