Osama bin Laden: Eco-terrorist

Senate GOP plan to destroy earth doesn't poll well with al-Qaida

By Andrew Leonard
Published January 29, 2010 6:58PM (EST)

Osama bin Laden is one wily s.o.b. On the very same day that three Republican senators sent a letter to Majority Leader Harry Reid asking that their environment-ravaging No Cost Stimulus bill be added to a new jobs bill, the al-Qaida mastermind launched a sustained attack, broadcast on Al-Jazeera, blaming the United States for blocking action on climate change. If his goal was to further the state of paralysis currently afflicting the U.S. Senate, he will undoubtedly be successful.

In addition to opening up the continental shelf to increased offshore oil drilling and accelerating the exploitation of oil shale and tar sands resources, the No Cost Stimulus Act aims to boost the economy by weakening the environmental impact review process, the Clean Air Act, the Endangered Species Act, and forbidding the Environmental Protection Agency from classifying greenhouse gases as air pollution.

The bill is an environmentalist nightmare. Indeed, you'd be hard-pressed to figure out a way to faster accelerate the pumping of greenhouse gas emissions into the atmosphere than by enacting the Republican plan. I'm sure that bin Laden, squirreled away in Waziristan, is already working up a white paper explaining why the GOP platform is a blueprint for planetary disaster.

Of course nothing suits the right more than for bin Laden to expose himself as a treehugger. Drudge and Fox are shuddering with glee. Forget about your eco-terrorists! Now we've got real terrorists pushing for cap-and-trade! Al Gore and bin Laden, together forever.

The only thing more ridiculous than the GOP's No Cost Stimulus Act is a mass murderer parading his passion for Gaia. The two sides are made for each other, and their unholy matrimony will help assure that nothing worthwhile gets done.

Andrew Leonard

Andrew Leonard is a staff writer at Salon. On Twitter, @koxinga21.

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Global Warming How The World Works Osama Bin Laden