Unless you're young, sexy, rich, idle and madly in love -- and if you are, the rest of us would really rather not hear a word about it -- then Valentine's Day is just another excuse to buy yourself an enormous box of chocolates and eat them all in bed while watching the Olympics. Even those of us who have found our perfect love match (see also: someone easy-going enough to eat all of the pecan butter creams after we scarf down the caramels, raspberry gels and peanut butter cups) are typically too tired, broke, overworked or unimaginative to have the energy for putting on lip gloss and making goo-goo eyes over a plate of overpriced pasta.
Thankfully, the writers of "Modern Family" (see also: the best comedy on TV) understand just how slouchy and pathetic most of us are, so in honor of Valentine's Day, they present us with a glimpse of the typical married couple's flaccid efforts at romance, and how it stands it sharp contrast with the passion of dimwitted teenagers:
But the real kicker comes when Claire (Julie Bowen) and Phil (Ty Burrell) engage in a little Valentine's Day role-playing. Pure, delicious creepiness!