I'm going to have to scrub myself with bleach after writing this sentence, but here I go: Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, Jesse James' alleged mistress, is set to referee a boxing match between Jon Gosselin's ex-girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, and adult actress Gina Lynn, star of "Welcome To Boobstown." (Scrubbing commences.) It's quite the fight card: In one corner, we have a reality TV dad's "other woman" and, in the other, we have a porn star -- perhaps the most ubiquitous type of "other woman." Of course, the only reasonable judge for such a match would be the most talked about "other woman" of ... this week.
Speaking of, Radar reports that McGee returned to the stage at San Diego's Pure Platinum strip club Friday night. She worked the pole and performed lap dances for $100 a pop. One of Radar's intrepid video journalists procured some one-on-one time with the tabloid star and recorded the whole thing in the style of P.O.V. porn. Now all you folks at home can pretend Sandra Bullock's husband's mistress is crawling on your lap and humping your knee.
Either I'm having a bad case of the Mondays, or we've reached a cultural nadir. Only, it can't be the latter because that would imply that it can't get any worse, and we know that isn't true. Somewhere, a television producer is drafting a list of every reality TV show to ever hit the air and brainstorming ways to insert infamous "other women." I'm talking, "America's Next Top Mistress," "Dancing with the Mistresses," "The Real Mistresses of Orange County," "Big Brother's Mistress," "America's Got Mistresses," "The Millionaire Mistress Matchmaker," "Mistress Swap," "Extreme Makeover: Mistress Edition" -- I'll stop before my brain explodes.
What can I say, mistresses are having a moment. We can't get enough, whether it's receiving a vicarious lap dance or seeing them naked in the pages of Vanity Fair. It's a way to put ourselves in the shoes of these rich and famous men, to imagine the power and opportunity -- much like the typical lifestyle porn of celebrity tabloids helps us to fantasize about the shopping sprees, tropical getaways and V.I.P. access. I also suspect there's a strong undercurrent of fear here, given how these women have proved to be the Achilles' heel of larger-than-life men. I mean, the way these femmes fatale threw their lovers to the tabloids makes the female praying mantis' post-coital behavior look rather decorous. This all makes for a potent combination of titillation and fear, and I'm afraid it'll be a poison of choice for some time to come.