Like a terrible train wreck that we can't stop staring at, Charlie Sheen has managed to amuse, exhaust, and alienate all but his most loyal 2,264,367 Twitter followers in a Guinness-breaking number of days. Did you know a woman was on Martin Bashir's MSNBC show yesterday just because Charlie Sheen tweeted at her? Jesus.
While the Charlie Sheen ouroboros is busy smoking its own tail, maybe we can take this moment and wipe the collective sweat from our brow, take a deep breath, and cut off our addiction at the root. It might not feel this way now, but we don't need to spend our days watching a bipolar addict run himself into the ground. We can…I don't know, take a walk or something! Grab a coffee with an old friend. Read a book (not online). But none of this can happen until we put down our own figurative crack pipe of Charlie Sheen news. That’s why I am happy to have found Tinted Sheen, the first "Charlie Sheen browser blocker."
Much like the program earlier last year that helped you de-Bieber your web browser, places a giant censor square over the name of the former TV and movie star. Like so:
It currently works for Firefox and Chrome as a plugin, meaning Safari users are SOL. And as The Onion's A.V. Club helpfully reminds us "…why not observe Unfollow Charlie Sheen Day this Friday and rid your Twitter feed of the confused, misspelled ramblings of the person Charlie Sheen pays to tweet as @CharlieSheen."
And don't worry guys, Charlie is probably way too busy to notice if you stop following him on Twitter. Although just to make sure, you should probably dead-bolt your door and stop answering your phone this weekend as well.