If it's true that March goes in like a lion and out like a lamb, this week's pop culture news would be our sacrificial sheep. We devour them hungrily, even if they make us feel a little gross and fat afterward.
3. The preview for Morgan Spurlock's "The Greatest Movie Ever Sold":
Choice quote: "I want to make a movie all about product placement, marketing and advertising where the whole film is funded by product placement, marketing and advertising." So basically a movie based on that scene from "Wayne's World"? Also, it's "the 'Inception' of documentaries?" Ugh.
4. Billy Ray Cyrus announcing on "The View" that he won't be getting a divorce after all: We thought he was just complaining about "Hannah Montana" putting his family too much in the spotlight, but now he's spilling his personal drama all over Joy Behar's lap.
5. Dave Grohl calls Ryan Murphy a "fucking jerk": Guess Puck and Santana aren't going to be singing "Everlong" any time soon. That is, unless "Glee" hires Grohl's wife to star in some episodes, like the show did with Chris Martin.
6. Charlie Sheen will make $7 million on his "Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour: Sadly, this is still a huge pay cut from "Two and a Half Men."
7. Claire Danes not opposed to plastic surgery: But that's only because Latisse promised to pay to replace her eyelashes with synthetic ones.
8. Spokesperson for "heart attack grill" dies at 29 years old, 575 pounds: Really sad, but maybe now you'll throw out everything you bought that promises to kill you.
9. The gruesome stills from "Scream 4": So this time Wes Craven's made a self-referential torture porn?
10. Business Cat Tumblr:
Actually we are totally pro-this, forever and ever. We're just anti-"not finding out about it until now."