I don't want to be one of those people who talk about the weather a lot, but I hate how spring is acting like such a little tease lately. One day it's warm, one day it's freezing. Make up your mind, already! Then again, how can I blame the winds for being indecisive when I can't even figure out how I feel about some of this week's biggest stories in entertainment? Touché, me.
1. Rebecca Black's "Friday" to be covered on "Glee": It makes sense when you think about the concept of "Glee" as a metaphor for Black's trajectory: a group of teens hated by the rest of their high school for singing annoying songs.
2. Nic Cage in trouble with IRS for giving too many gifts: Oh, what, they're going after Santa Claus next? Nic Cage is just a really generous guy, that's all.
3. PETA's latest billboard comparing the Duggar family to animals that need to be spayed: I usually hate PETA's tactics, but if your dog had 19 puppies, you'd definitely get it neutered too. Unless it was making bank off its own very successful TLC show.
4. The Awl's amazing coverage of Chris Canyon, the gay wrestler: Obviously, in the world of oiled-up men with flowing hair rubbing all over each other, heterosexuality must be protected at all costs.
5. Gwyneth Paltrow and Jay-Z interview one another for their respective lifestyle sites: At first glance, you couldn't find two more different people to talk to each other, until you realize they probably spend most of their time sharing tips on the best European countries to buy castles in.
6. Funny or Die's race with Weird Al to 2,000,000 Twitter followers:
Great job beating a man whose last big hit was "Like a Surgeon." Just kidding, we're all losers here: Weird Al has so many more Twitter followers than us.
7. Tom Hanks is teaming up with Green Day for a film version of "American Idiot": How close is Billy Joe Armstrong to an EGOT now? Is it closer than Tom Hanks? Because that would be depressing.
8. Puppeteer in Australia scares children with lifelike Velociraptor:
I'm sorry, but if I saw that thing bound through my elementary school door, I would sue the state for trauma. After I was done petting it.
9. John Galliano fired from John Galliano label: I didn't know you could be fired from your own clothing company. But then again, I didn't know that an anti-Semitic clown that dresses like Mystery from "The Pick-Up Artist" actually designed for Dior in the first place.
10. David Byrne makes former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist apologize for stealing his song for a campaign ad: Best part? He makes him do it on YouTube.
Wow. That was uncomfortable.