"No guys, I know. Kate and William. History in the making. This is a really, really big deal. But I have to tell you, do you know what really got me excited today, weddings-wise?"
"Kristin Cavallari! From 'Laguna Beach!' And then 'The Hills!' (But only much, much later, after Lauren Conrad left to do … whatever it is that Lauren Conrad does.) Anyway, Kristin – who used to date Stephen back in like, 2005? – is now going to get married to Jay Cutler!"
"What do you mean, you don't know who Jay Cutler or Kristin are? Jay is quarterback for the Chicago Bears! Kristin was on a few reality shows! These are our royal couple, people!"
"Also, I am really into bird paintining these days. Don't ask."