1. Queer comic of the day: "Archie's" lone gay character, Kevin Keller, is getting his own spinoff series. Since he was only introduced last September, I can only assume he's already grown bored with the eternal Betty vs. Veronica debate and frustrated with Jughead's lack of cultural interests outside of hamburgers.
2. Homewrecker of the day: Rachel Uchitel, who in edition to sleeping with Elin Nordegren's ex-husband Tiger Woods, has also hooked up with Elin's new boyfriend, Jamie Dingham. How is that even possible? Where did she get that devil magic to ruin lives -- and is there any way she can use it for good?
3. Music video of the day: Beastie Boys' action (figure)-packed "Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win," directed by Spike Jonze.
4. Ripped from the headlines: Arnold Schwarzenegger's secret love child will be the focus of an upcoming "Law & Order: SVU" episode. Man, remember when "SVU" used to be reserved for the really heinous crimes? Now that there is no "Law & Order" proper, it's like they've run out of places to put the crimes that aren't about rape or serial killers.
5. King casting of the day: HBO announced that the second season of "Game of Thrones" will feature Stephen Dillane as Stannis Baratheon and Carice van Houten as his sorceress Melisandre. There goes our hope of Sean Bean coming back with different facial hair to play Robert's older brother.